Why we don't want to see Will and Jada split up
OPINION - Will and Jada are more than just two celebrities in a marriage. Instead, they are a wonderful reminder to us all that it can and does happen for us too...
Thank goodness for the Trey Smith tweet: “Will and Jada getting a DIVORCE ..NOT TRUE AT ALL !! RETWEET.” Tuesday morning, Twitter and Facebook were truly distressed by “news” from In Touch Weekly that the super couple intended to split. Distribution by TMZ, which is known for breaking stories, even the most unbelievable, didn’t help. The rumor was so devastating that, even as a rare earthquake rocked the East Coast, Will and Jada kept trending.
Although the tweet from Will’s son from his previous marriage had many breathing a sigh of relief, the story didn’t die. As the day continued, the rumors got more intricate. People.com reported a denial of an affair between Jada and her Hawthorne co-star Marc Anthony, who recently split from his wife, Jennifer Lopez, via Jada’s publicist, who unintentionally added fuel to the fire by refusing to comment on the status of Will and Jada’s marriage.
Finally Jada and Will put an end to all the madness with a statement. In it, they said, “We are still together, and our marriage is intact.”
But the speed in which the news spread on Twitter and Facebook, accompanied by the monsoon of disappointment over the possibility of any truth to the report, was an unexpected indication of just how invested black America is in Will and Jada and their marriage.
As report after report surfaces regarding the legions of black women who are “doomed” to single life, the scores of black children growing up without fathers, the hysteria around black down-low men and the other roadblocks to successful marriage for African Americans, Will and Jada are a symbol of hope.
Perhaps our strong attachment to Will and Jada stems from the fact that we know them as celebrities in their own right. During a local radio show interview on Atlanta’s popular V103, Tameka Raymond, Usher Raymond’s ex-wife, asserted that Chili and Usher’s relationship was supported by the public because “People like to see stars with stars…people like to see celebrities together.”
And maybe she is on to something. Before Will was a bankable global box office star, many of us watched him move from rapping “Parents Just Don’t Understand” to starring in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. By the same token, Jada was Lena James, the rough-around-the-edges, fly hood girl bettering herself on A Different World before becoming the star of Menace II Society and Set It Off or marrying Will.
By the time they married each other in 1997, many of us already knew them as individuals in much the same way we would know our friends and family who also took that leap. So rooting for their union became natural.
Sure, reports of an open marriage concerned us as well as intrigued us. Let’s face it: many of us feel it’s hard enough being married without being famous. But, to be in Hollywood, where temptation is as common as breathing, surely, to have lasting power, conventional means won’t work.
As Jada explained it last year to Detroit’s WJLB (as reported by TVOne Online), “We always have people that we’re attracted to that we talk about. That don’t stop just because you’re married. Somebody’s always gonna catch your eye. That’s real…is there somebody right for a nice night? Maybe. But somebody that can sustain our life and sustain what we’ve built together, absolutely not!”
And what a life these two have built. Talk about having it all. They have Willow and Jaden who are becoming stars in music and film respectively. They successfully blended their family by including both Will’s son Trey and his ex-wife Sheree (Zampino) Fletcher, who is now re-married, into their lives without tabloid-worthy drama. They even made the sitcom, All of Us, about addressing those challenges. Today, both still have booming careers: Will in films and Jada on television as a star and producer.Yes, we’ve haggled over whether they were bringing Willow and Jaden into this business too soon. Some of us felt that Willow was too sassy for her age, especially for an industry as notoriously unsafe as music. But we also applauded them for investing in a remake of The Karate Kid starring Jaden, whose acting skills were evident in The Pursuit of Happyness alongside his father, and not waiting for Hollywood to come to the party late.
But these issues are nice ones to debate. A luxury even. A-List African American celebrities gracing the cover of Architectural Digest, making headlines on Entertainment Tonight, just being relevant to all, in terms of building their dream home, sustaining a successful marriage, practicing responsible parenting and maintaining their sex appeal. This is just not what we’ve been accustomed to.
Yes, we have the ultimate power couple and family, Michelle Obama and Barack Obama with their daughters Sasha and Malia, in The White House but their lives can’t feed us in that same, everyday way. After all, there is a country to run, unemployment to address and a Tea Party to fight off. For either the president or the first Lady to be tabloid fodder is beyond bad.
Beyoncè and Jay-Z largely refuse to discuss their marriage. Denzel’s wife Pauletta isn’t quite famous enough for the masses or magazines to care about theirs. T.I. can’t stay out of jail and, even if he could, he and Tiny aren’t quite polished enough for that kind of mainstream spotlight. For the most part, Will and Jada are the only ones who fit the bill.
So, why is the mainstream media slowly chipping away at their union? How they run their marriage is their business, as long as it keeps them together. In their book, With Ossie and Ruby: In This Life Together, the legendary Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis were brave enough to discuss their experimentation with open marriage and their discovery that it didn’t suit them because they honestly preferred each other.
Maybe that’s not the case with Will and Jada but, if it is or isn’t, that’s their business.
Our only investment is seeing them remain “Unbreakable,” to borrow from Alicia Keys’s hit song, which, not so coincidentally, included them. Russell and Kimora Lee Simmon’s marriage, unfortunately, didn’t live up to the song but we need Will and Jada to.
Through their past appearances with Oprah and many others, even in their print interviews, all indications are that neither one intends to let us down. Will, who has been divorced before, has previously stated what a great loss that was. It was a mistake he does not intend to duplicate.
‘With Jada, I stood up in front of God and my family and friends and said, “Till death do us part.” So there are two possible outcomes: We are going to be together till death, or I am dead,’ he once told Reader’s Digest.
So, In Touch Weekly back off of Will and Jada. This is not a Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston situation. White Americans have numerous, public symbols of marriage. Because African-Americans are not given as bright a mainstream spotlight, Will and Jada are more than just two celebrities in a marriage. Instead, they are a wonderful reminder to us all that it can and does happen for us too.
