Why Republicans just can't quit the Donald

OPINION - With the current GOP field in disarray, all of them scratching for positive media attention, Trump ring-kissing appears to be en vogue...

Luther Vandross was outed as gay after his death.

In a world filled with uncertainty, there are a few things you can be sure of. The sun will always rise in the east, we will all die at some point and we can always count on Donald Trump to entertain us with his delusions of grandeur.

It isn’t easy being The Donald. Not with all of the rigors it takes to run his marketing and real estate “empire”, not to mention what must go into mastering the greatest comb-over feat known to mankind. His failed attempts to conceal his ever-disappearing hairline are the stuff of which legends are made. And Trump is nothing, if not a legend — at least in his own mind.

Which brings me to his latest charade.

After the public shellacking he got last April when his make-believe campaign for president veered off the rails, one would think Trump would be finished with politics. The ridicule he incurred over the birther issue would’ve silenced a lesser man.

But not Trump. Rather than toss his poker hand into the muck, the casino owning Trump is making a pot-sized bet in hopes we won’t call his bluff. He thinks his pair of deuces is enough to clear the table.

No sooner than the ink was dry on the next season of The Apprentice, the construction magnate and reality television star was chomping down on pizza with Sarah Palin in Times Square where they were sure to draw cameras — and the worst slice in town. We should’ve known something was afoot when Trump whipped out a knife and fork.

Thank goodness he’s choosing better restaurants these days, because the candidates keep coming. At least those who Trump deems worthy of an audience. Enter Texas Governor Rick Perry and Mitt Romney. Both had the pleasure of dining with the self- anointed “godfather of politics” in recent days.

“If he does get behind whoever the candidate may be, what’s going to happen is that individual will basically lock up the Republican nomination,” Trump exec Michael Cohen said of the reality star turned would-be kingmaker.

Well, that’s good news since any Trump backed candidate would have a near zero chance of winning the presidency. Trump is pure entertainment, but any notion that American voters — Republican or Democrat — are buying his political nonsense is nonsense in and of itself. Heck, the number of people who believe his self proclaimed billion-dollar net worth couldn’t fill a phone booth.

With the current GOP field in disarray, all of them scratching for positive media attention, Trump ring-kissing appears to be en vogue. It certainly couldn’t be about votes or money. Trump can deliver neither.

Just like his bevy of private investigators who, at least according to Trump, descended on Hawaii in search of proof President Obama isn’t an native born citizen and just like his purported great relationship with “the blacks”, Trump is a myth unwilling to die.

If there’s one thing Donald Trump craves, it’s relevance. If GOP candidates are willing to give it to him, who am I to complain? The chances of two more deuces coming out of the shoot, are slim to none. We would be right to call his bluff, take his stack of chips and leave him nothing but green felt.

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