The sassy ladies of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Atlanta returned last night after a two-week break. Episode 9 had much to do with Cynthia’s crumbling marriage. Two weeks ago we were left with our mouths hanging as we realized that Peter had deserted Cynthia at the opening of her model agency.

I don’t know about you, but if my husband couldn’t name one good thing he loved about me when asked by a pastor, I would seriously reevaluate my relationship. We of course know the logic gene must have skipped Cynthia, because after a tense conversation in which Peter never actually apologizes for ditching her, or agrees to work on their relationship, she forgives him.

At some point in the episode I went from feeling sorry for Cynthia to wishing that pesky marriage license would have remained hidden a year ago.

Phaedra’s weird union came up quite a lot last night. And Phaedra still wants to start a funeral parlor. As she puts it, “I want to do fabulous funerals, funerals worth dying for.” The only thing holding her back is that trophy husband of hers, Apollo.

Normally, I wouldn’t mind seeing a woman take the reins and lead her man around, but I draw the line at bribing your husband with other women. Apollo had his mind set on not working with all the “spirits and souls,” floating around funeral homes, until Phaedra promises him that he can escort all the girls around. No surprise, Apollo suddenly has a change of heart. I just hope Phaedra pays her husband a little more than Georgia’s $5.15 minimum wage.

The other housewives made a passing visit with small and unimportant storylines. Kandi is breaking into the world of country music by writing a song with famed country music star, Jo Dee Messina.

Now I love Kandi, and I think she is a great songwriter, but she was a little too nervous in front of a woman who hasn’t even won a Grammy. Kandi you have two! You better tell that woman when to add a bridge to her song. To give Sheree and Kim some camera time, the two met for some yoga and kale juice with ginger. Kim complains about how much of an attention-seeking brat Brielle has become. Should she really be surprised by the horrible behavior displayed by a 14-year-old with multiple cameras in her face?

I think the most surprising story was the Marlo/NeNe friendship. Marlo, who is obviously trying out for a full time role next season, reappeared to drudge up the whole Charles Grant affair. Once NeNe confirmed that Charles “has never seen her hello kitty,” the two bonded over lunch. The lunch took an unexpected turn when Marlo admits to spending six months in jail for fighting some girl in the club 10 years ago.

According to Marlo, this is due to the fact that she was raised in the projects by a drug-addicted mother. Wow… way to show character depth. Of course she had to show us how far she’s come by inviting NeNe to a charity event hosted by Ted Turner’s daughter (yes the Ted Turner you’re thinking of) to show off her friends and money. Marlo supposedly buys a piece of jewelry that costs as much as a down payment on a house, while hobnobbing with Laura Seydel Turner who has to explain to NeNe who the Dalai Lama is.

Next week’s episode may have some fireworks, as Kim and NeNe are forced to awkwardly avoid eye contact as they sit across from each other at a dinner table.

Quote of the Night: “We gone put the boom in tombs.” -Phaedra Parks