Bobbi Kristina had a front row seat to Whitney Houston's pain
OPINION - We as adults often hide our emotional pain in one or more ways -- by wearing a 'mask' to let the world think all is well, when in reality, nothing could be further from the truth...
We as adults often hide our emotional pain in one or more ways — by wearing a “mask” to let the world think all is well, when in reality, nothing could be further from the truth; or by participating in aggressive and destructive behavior such as alcohol and drug abuse.
It is easier to hide emotional turmoil from another adult, because he or she will usually have their own issues to deal with, so not much attention is being paid to yours. Unfortunately, the real causalities of self inflicted wars are our children.
Unfortunately, the “Bobbi Kristinas” of the world have been forced to witness the slow suicide of people closest to them — individuals who are admired, respected and idolized but have not named their pain yet have found ways to silence it.
The lives of millions of children are negatively impacted by parents who are in emotional distress, and who turn to various substances to numb their pain. The 2007 National Survey on Drug Use and Health reported that 8.3 million children live with at least one parent or parents who abused or was dependent on alcohol or an illicit drug during the past year.
Bobbi Kristina Brown (daughter of the late, great and legendary singer Whitney Houston and singer Bobby Brown) has already inherited a great deal of unresolved emotional baggage from her parents, as we all do. A great portion of the foundation for a legacy of pain has been laid for her.
Let us remember it matters not if you are famous and wealthy, or unknown and poor; what matters is the source of the pain and the ways chosen to deal with it.
Young adults like Bobbi Kristina are very smart and definitely aware of what the adults in their life are going through — whether good or bad they learn from it. No matter how the parent attempts to hide (or not hide) things, they are creating a bequest of pain. They are teaching their children how to lie; how to wear the “mask” and not deal with emotions; how to numb and silence emotional pain.
We are outsiders looking in, and do not know the pain Bobbi Kristina has endured over the years. For example, was Bobbi Kristina just close to her mother, or did she become a parentified child — as the six-time Grammy winner struggled with pain and addiction?
Bobbi Kristina had a front row seat to the trials, tribulations and emotional struggles of her parents. We have to wonder: could we live with ourselves if we collectively participate in the slow and catastrophic foreseeable plunge of Bobbi Kristina? The world has watched how parental pain and destruction affected the lives of other children; Liza Minnelli, Drew Barrymore, and Tatum O’Neil.
My heart is heavy and aches for Bobbi Kristina, Lady Cissy, Bobby Brown and the entire Houston family. Bobbi Kristina will see the light as time goes by, with God’s grace and the help of a compassionate therapist on a consistent basis. I pray that Whitney will rest in the peace she never could attain in her lifetime.
Terrie M. Williams is a mental health expert and author of “Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We’re Not Hurting.” She is the co-founder of The Stay Strong Foundation. Follow her on Twitter at @terriewilliams
Jennifer Jones, Executive Director of The Stay Strong Foundation, contributed to this essay.
