The Pope, Queen Elizabeth II, Willow Smith, and Beyonce’s newborn have something in common. They have all been suspected of being members of a clandestine occultist group, the Illuminati, by online conspiracy theorists.

Whether you’re tired of hearing mentions of the Illuminati or are hungry for more, Gawker has you covered. The site features a “comprehensive guide” to the conspiracy theory that just won’t die. The tongue-in-cheek explainer defines the Illuminati according to history and YouTube lore with the guides from “believers” and “skeptics.”

What do the Illuminati do?
Oh, you know, conspiracy stuff. Assassinations, currency manipulation, Super Bowl halftime shows. All executed through puppet institutions and groups like the Federal Reserve, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Freemasons, and Def Jam Recordings. And all carefully controlled and hidden to ensure that their meddling in world affairs will remain secret.

This is sounding more plausible by the minute. What’s the end goal of the Illuminati?
The end goal of the Illuminati is to establish a one-world authoritarian government known as the New World Order.

…and then?
Here, theories differ. Some of the internet’s finest minds, writing on scholarly websites like Yahoo Answers, believe that forced conversion to homosexuality will be a top agenda item in the New World Order. Others claim the first order of business will be to round all non-Illuminati up into FEMA camps, possibly as part of a deal struck with aliens in Roswell. Many, if not most, experts believe that the New World Order will be a front for the rise of the Antichrist.

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