This past week was a weird one in the sports world, with evangelical hero Tim Tebow coming to heathen-filled New York City and basketball legend Magic Johnson buying, of all things, a baseball team. In the rap world, life went on more or less as normal — bragging, drugs, violence, sex, and money, as ever, took the day. Below, the lines of the week:
5. “I ain’t pu**y, go ‘head and wait/You the dickhead that the bullet gonna penetrate” – Styles P, “Google That” lyrics
Styles is a long-time master of tough talk. He’s so good at it by now that sometimes he even does it backwards. Here’s another fine example in a career-long list, with the Ghost coloring his threats with some biological puns.
4. “You ni**as drug-free, but I get drugs free/Might not have a money tree, but I got a bud tree” – Juicy J, “Piss Test” lyrics
Juicy’s first-line reversal is just about as good as his work gets — irreverent, surprising, and right on the Spinal Tap-ish line between stupid and clever. This profanity-laced ode to dodging drug tests was definitely one of the week’s most fun moments.
3. “So we got some piff to smoke/And we got some liquor, yo/Gift it like it’s Christmas and my pubic hair is mistletoe” – Mr. Muthaf**kin’ eXquire, “Good Pu**y In Chicago” lyrics
The New York rapper Mr. Muthaf**kin’ eXquire, who somehow recently managed to sign a record deal while keeping his bizarre moniker, released a playful song detailing his recent tour stop in the Windy City. This raunchy-but-funny image is definitely the highlight of a casual gem of a freestyle.
2. “Ice H2O, throw you in bags/We the meaning of the new Black Panthers, all my soldiers in Jags” – Raekwon, “Tried To Tell Em” lyrics
The Chef shouts out his IceWater crew here, while throwing in some animal jokes good measure. We only hope, for Rae’s sake, that no one tells the New Black Panthers about this line. The edgy group, which recently put a $10K bounty on the head of Trayvon Martin killer George Zimmerman, would likely not take kindly to the slight.
1. “This is as steep as it gets, my peoples deep in some debt/They all pray for the green now, like Tebow does for the Jets” – Nino Bless, “Nameless Freestyle” lyrics
Nino’s song reflects the economic desperation of the times, and even reveals a bit of a hip-hop backlash against the president (“Another promise from Obama, where’s my change?” he raps). Here, Bless manages to reference the joblessness and credit crunch of today’s papers, while working in a timely Tebow reference. This easily earns him this week’s top slot.
