Personal coach and motivational speaker Valorie Burton (center) discusses how Allyson Felix and Gabrielle Douglas among others have presented empowering images of black women in the 2012 Olympics. (Photos: Getty Images, Valorie Burton)
Carmelita Jeter of the United States, Bianca Knight of the United States, Allyson Felix of the United States and Tianna Madison of the United States celebrate after winning gold and setting a new world record of 40.82 afterthe Women’s 4 x 100m Relay Final on Day 14 of the London 2012 Olympic Games at Olympic Stadium on August 10, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
Carmelita Jeter of the United States, Bianca Knight of the United States, Allyson Felix of the United States and Tianna Madison of the United States celebrate after winning gold and setting a new world record of 40.82 afterthe Women’s 4 x 100m Relay Final on Day 14 of the London 2012 Olympic Games at Olympic Stadium on August 10, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images)
Carmelita Jeter of the United States, Bianca Knight of the United States, Allyson Felix of the United States and Tianna Madison of the United States celebrate next to the clock after winning gold and setting a new world record of 40.82 afterthe Women’s 4 x 100m Relay Final on Day 14 of the London 2012 Olympic Games at Olympic Stadium on August 10, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
Carmelita Jeter of the United States celebrates winning the silver in the Women’s 100m Final on Day 8 of the London 2012 Olympic Games at Olympic Stadium on August 4, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Lars Baron/Getty Images)
Carmelita Jeter of the United States celebrates winning the silver in the Women’s 100m Final on Day 8 of the London 2012 Olympic Games at Olympic Stadium on August 4, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
Gold medalists Serena Williams of the United States and Venus Williams of the United States celebrate on the popdium during the medal ceremony for the Women’s Doubles Tennis on Day 9 of the London 2012 Olympic Games at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club on August 5, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Paul Gilham/Getty Images)
Gold medalists Serena Williams of the United States and Venus Williams of the United States celebrate on the popdium during the medal ceremony for the Women’s Doubles Tennis on Day 9 of the London 2012 Olympic Games at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club on August 5, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Paul Gilham/Getty Images)
Lia Neal gets set for the start of preliminary heat 15 of the Women’s 50 m Freestyle during Day Seven of the 2012 U.S. Olympic Swimming Team Trials at CenturyLink Center on July 1, 2012 in Omaha, Nebraska. (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)
Lia Neal, Allison Schmitt, Jessica Hardy and Missy Franklin of the United States celebrate with their bronze medals during the the Medal Cermony for the Women’s 4x100m Freestyle Relay on Day One of the London 2012 Olympic Games at the Aquatics Centre on July 28, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images)
Sometimes I feel bombarded by the negative images of women who look like me, especially on reality television. But two weeks of Olympics coverage was like a breath of fresh air – a reality show of its own, complete with a cast of talented, beautiful, triumphant African-American women. In a world where images of us on television are disproportionately angry, obnoxious or hypersexual, we saw just the opposite. Just watching Gabby Douglas or Allyson Felix smile makes me want to flash a smile of my own. When it comes to images of African-American women at the 2012 Olympic Games, there is plenty to celebrate – and learn from.
You couldn’t help but notice the graciousness, intelligence, faith and sheer resilience during post-win interviews with champs such as Sanya Richards-Ross, Carmelita Jeter, Serena Williams, Gabrielle Douglas, Allyson Felix, and others like them. What do these amazing women have to teach us? As a life coach, I’m always gleaning lessons to put to good use. Here are a few things these women can teach just through observation. Maybe you can use them to inspire you in your own life:
1. Blow off the haters.
Not everybody is going to celebrate your wins. Or appreciate that when you work hard, you sweat. And a black woman sweating is going to have a few hairs out of place. Sixteen-year old Gabby Douglas didn’t mince words with her critics. Her bottom line: Get over it. “Nothing is going to change,” she told the Associated Press. “I’m going to wear my hair like this during beam and bar finals. You might as well just stop talking about it.” Now, that’s a teenager who knows what matters. If you pursue anything worth having, expect criticism – and know when to blow it off.
2. Believe you can do it.
The most successful women don’t internalize defeat. Instead, they study it. They figure out what to do differently next time. They persevere, and ultimately – finally, they get their prize. Allyson Felix knows this firsthand. At 18 and 22, she won silver medals at the Olympics. But with laser focus and perseverance, this time she became the first American woman to win three gold medals in track and field since FloJo in 1988. She told USA Today, “I embrace the defeats because that’s what pushed me all those years. It makes tonight very, very sweet.” And four years after a shocking singles defeat at the 2008 Olympics, this time Serena Williams won the most lopsided women’s final match in Olympic history. How about you? What personal or professional defeat can you learn from and turn into a win?
3. Get your mind right.
After making history winning the gymnastics all-around competition, Douglas pointed to a key strategy: Learning to stay focused and not doubting her ability to win. Sure, the positive images of African-American women at this year’s Olympics at first glance seem to be only about their talent, intelligence and good looks. But dig deeper, and it is obvious that what we see on the outside alone isn’t what makes them champions. Their external qualities help, no doubt. But winning, whether at the Olympics or in life, is about what you are made of on the inside. It is about thinking differently than the average person. Finding your passion. Using your gift. And bouncing back from disappointment.
Get your mind right and everything else follows.
Valorie Burton is the bestselling author of eight books, including ‘Successful Women Think Differently,’ a columnist for Ebony Magazine and founder of the Coaching and Positive Psychology Institute. Visit her at www.valorieburton.com.
