Alicia Keys recently revealed her deepest romantic feelings about her marriage to Swizz Beatz on Oprah’s Master Class, which kicked off its second season on March 3 on OWN. She shared the way in which her relationship brought to life a common platitude about love.
“I really learned what everyone meant when they said ‘you know when you know’ when I met my husband. I never knew what that meant, and it sounded to me like some weird kind of slogan,” the Grammy Award-winning artist said. “‘You know when you know’? What do you mean, ‘you know when you know’? But actually, you do know when you know. And that’s with everything with life.”
Keys, who recently made headlines for her jazzy rendition of the National Anthem performed before the Super Bowl, also said that Beatz is helping her let go and live loose — or at least with greater freedom.
“He’s just like such an incredibly crazy, spontaneous, full of life… person,” the 34-year-old said on the show. “He’s just bubbling over with life. I’ve never meant a person like him ever. Few of us are able to be that free… To just follow our light, you know, just follow it, and know that it’s gonna lead you where you’re meant to go.”
Her husband of nearly three years might be teaching Keys to relax and go with the flow, but she is still cognizant of the importance of planning and discipline — two great lessons for the couple’s two-year-old son, Egypt.
“He’s definitely taught me a lot about freedom, and a lot about spontaneity, and being open to life, and how it’s going to happen,” the new mom continued about her spouse. “I think before I was always so kind of regimented about how everything had to happen. I’d plan it all out perfect. But, that’s not quite life. I mean that’s part of life. Don’t get it wrong… You definitely have to plan things, and execute them, but there’s also another part of life that’s very, very spontaneous, that’s very natural. It kind of unfolds, and it happens to you.”
Experts agree that relationships are an excellent tool of personal growth, and that marriages that foster mutual growth can be the most satisfying. “Research shows that the more self-expansion people experience from their partner, the more committed and satisfied they are in the relationship,” reports the New York Times in an article about such unions.
This particular type of marriage success also depends on whether personal expansion is one of your relationship values.
“If you’re seeking self-growth and obtain it from your partner, then that puts your partner in a pretty important position,” one doctor interviewed by the Times said about the merits of individual growth through love. “And being able to help your partner’s self-expansion would be pretty pleasing to yourself.”
In the case of Alicia Keys’ love life, it seems that self-expansion is definitely one of her highest priorities, and that her husband’s openness to life has provided a complement to her naturally regimented state in a manner she enjoys. What about you? Do you develop important relationships purely for pleasure and support? Or are you more interested in how a partner can help you expand your tools for mastering life?
Follow Alexis Garrett Stodghill on Twitter at @lexisb.