Iyanla Vanzant recently appeared on OWN’s It’s Not You, It’s Men, with Tyrese and Rev Run, to say that she will never get married again.
She first admitted to having married her husband because she wanted her father’s approval, and then she gave a frank analysis of what relationships do: “Here’s the thing, relationships are not where we go to have fun. Relationships are where we go to heal and where we go to learn. And who you’re going to attract is the person that’s going to bring to the forefront the thing you need to learn or heal or the thing that’s going to help you grow the most.”
As for marriage specifically, Vanzant said that she did not want to get married because it would not be an equal partnership.
“You know what? I would not be a great wife based on the definitions and the standards of today. I’m a great partner because I see my partner as my equal,” she said.
“One of things that happens in our relationships is we either pick up somebody who needs our help or pick up somebody that can help us. Love and pure relationship and commitment can only exist among equals. Cause if I see you as less than, I can’t commit. If I see you as more than I can’t commit. So today, I’m looking for an equal. And I don’t want to be a wife. I want to be a partner. Because wives have to do stuff that I’m not doing.”