A black couple out on a date
Has your dating life been hampered by dating men like those listed in the essay? © iofoto - Fotolia.com

From MadameNoire.comUp until four years ago, I’d never dated much. I was more of a serial monogamist who occasionally took breaks from relationships to lick my wounds.

But after a breakup in 2008, I immersed myself in the local music and nightlife scene, met lots of seemingly available men and began a long and exhausting foray into the social jungle that is the dating world.

For nearly three years, I met men who liked me enough to keep me within their circle of dating prospects, but not enough to move the relationship from casual to serious. They’d call me and text me and take me places and express all kinds of desires, just none of the long-term variety. At first I was fine with the casual relationships, but over time I got bored with the dating treadmill and longed for something more substantial.

Eventually, I found it, at McDonald’s of all places (but more on that later). Looking back on my unintentional dating marathon, I realize why it took me so long to settle into a relationship. Because I had been dating these men:

The Successful Black Man – The Successful Black Man is a living, breathing chick magnet, and he knows it. He has a good job and a nice car, he lives on his own and has plenty of cash to globe-trot with all of his friends, all of whom are also Successful Black Men. He’s handsome and fit, has no kids and no prison bids to his credit. At first, meeting and dating the Successful Black Man feels like winning the lottery, until you realize that every other woman who meets and dates this Man thinks the same thing, and he knows this as well. Ultimately, this Man is so busy being the ultimate catch that he is perpetually “exploring his options” and doesn’t have the time or desire for a relationship with you. Dating, yes. Glamorous nights on the town when you cut the long line at the club because he knows the promoter and momentarily feel like a superstar, yes. But a committed relationship, not so much.

Read the rest of this story on Madame Noire.