From the “Ladies Night Out” files:

Andrea Kelly and R. Kelly
Andrea Kelly and R. Kelly

4. X Marks the Spot: Andrea Kelly, according to VH1’s Hollywood Exes, is R. Kelly’s wife of 15 years? What is THAT? DAMNNN, Andrea, where you been, girl? Trapped in the closet for real! Or maybe you were that “Honey Love” from one of my favorite R.Kelly songs. No worries though, it’s nice to finally meet ya. Sorry it’s under these circumstances.  Time to “Fly” boo!

Joseline Hernandez
Joseline Hernandez: TMI?

5. From Pole to Hole: Why are we in the bathroom stall with the ATL’s own, former stripper Joseline Hernandez, on VH1’s  Love & Hip Hop: ATL? What is THAT? I’m cool with a window into somebody’s world that is not legally stalking, but do I really need to see a woman pee on a stick?  My TV started to smell funny! SMH!!!

Jenna Talackova and her lawyer Gloria Allred
Jenna Talackova and her lawyer Gloria Allred

6. Coming to America: You have to love America.  We welcome everybody… well except Hispanics. When Canada told their transgendered contestant, Jenna Talackova, she couldn’t compete in their pageant because she wasn’t “naturally born” a girl, Donald Trump said, “come on girl, we gotchu!” Let’s face it, we are “natural” born suckers for a good story! Kudos Mr. Trump.

On that note, PLEASE Fan Me/Follow Me: Why I gotta’ get people to like me and tweet me? I used to be able to do a couple of interviews and let the crew know I was gonna’ be down at the local club… Now I have to put out Amber Alerts. What is THAT?

THAT is so I can move tickets and sell DVD’s, so follow me on Twitter @billbellamy and find me on Facebook, and buy my new Craxy, Sexy, Dirty DVD — in stores everywhere, Tuesday, July 17.