Is Paula Deen’s n-word use a Southern thing?
ANALYSIS - Some fans and fellow chefs have defended her, accepting the first explanation that as a child of the South, such language and attitudes were common and not a sign that she treated anyone poorly...
Bentley, at 60 and raised in Wilkesboro in western North Carolina, is closer to Deen in age and experience. Bentley, who is white, said he grew up hearing racist language used as part of normal conversation, “I think there is some truth in that.” But he said that even when he was a child, it was not used in his home. He was taught it was a “bad word, already seen as a derogatory reference,” a fact that became clearer as the years and the times moved on. “At some point, we have to take responsibility for doing and saying what’s right.” Bentley said, “If we aren’t willing to call each other on things that are inappropriate, then we’re a party to it.”
Deen’s insistence that she doesn’t understand what offends people annoys Bentley, he said. “She’s a public person,” he said, one who’s obviously “smart about some things.” That’s part of her job, he said.
‘Hitting her in her pocket’
Around the corner from the museum, the black-owned Mert’s Heart and Soul – named for a beloved customer who has since passed away – always draws a crowd. Its profile rose when the city hosted the Democratic National Convention last fall, and visitors got the chance to sample the salmon cakes, macaroni and cheese and shrimp and grits, all with a side of cornbread.
All races gather, separately and together, for the food and conversation, and on Wednesday, lunchtime diners offered a variety of opinions on Paula Deen, what happened, and what should happen next.
Timothy Cuff, 50, who lives in Concord, N.C., said he has heard black Christian gospel station callers urge forgiveness in Deen’s case. But the Roanoke, Va., native, who is African-American, said he doesn’t agree. Deen’s falling back on her Southern roots left him cold. “I think a lot of people try to use that as an excuse, as a scapegoat for how they really feel,” he said. “It’s a bailout when they’re in hot water, especially now that it’s hitting her in the pocket.”
Cuff said that in his integrated high school, he and a good friend, who is white and played sports together “fought like cats and dogs sometimes but were like brothers.” Even in anger, he said, they never used racial insults to make a point and are still friends. His wife, Lisa Cuff, 47, who was raised in Greensboro, N.C., said knowing right from wrong is not Northern or Southern.
‘Blown out of proportion’
Sitting at an outside table, Doug Ploger, 52, who is white, was getting a slice of strawberry cake to go as he finished up lunch with his friend of 25 years, Samuel Kirby Jr., 63. Kirby, who is black, works as a painter in Ploger’s business. The two disagreed a bit on Deen’s troubles.
The reaction “was blown out of proportion,” said Ploger, who said his own grandparents probably believed in segregation though he remembered that his grandmother always called African-Americans “Negroes.” He said Deen probably doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong, but “she should know better.”
Growing up, Kirby said, saying the n-word was not tolerated. “We didn’t exchange it with each other. Whenever it came out of your mouth, you were trying to get a fight started.” Kirby, who grew up in Wilmington, N.C., said that there is a Northern and Southern difference, that Southern whites “have a tendency to be more open in saying what’s on their mind” about race, while northern whites “beat you behind the paper.”
As a high school athlete, he said he played on baseball, basketball and football teams with whites. One time when he came up to bat, Kirby remembered, a white teammate, playing off his first name, yelled out, “Knock it out of the park, Sambo.”
“I had to stop the game and go to him,” Kirby said. “If it happened again, we’ve got to fight.” It never happened again.
Kirby and Ploger said their conversations, ongoing it seemed from their easy manner, were comfortable. “We know each other. We talk about each other’s mommas,” said Ploger. “He calls me a cracker.” And can he ever call Kirby the N-word? I asked.
“No, I can tell you that now,” Kirby answered for him. “No.”
Follow Mary on Twitter @mcurtisnc3
