Will the 3rd time be the charm for Halle Berry?

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Halle Berry is getting married this weekend to Olivier Martinez this weekend, according to People and E! News, and it would be great if we could just be happy for the woman instead of over-analyzing her love life and being armchair psychologists.

The pregnant Oscar winner has been engaged to the French actor since March of 2012, but despite numerous online reports, Berry’s team has yet to confirm the date of their impending nuptials.

Her marriage to Martinez would be her third and his first.

Public romance

Berry was previously married to baseball player David Justice (1993-1997) and R&B singer Eric Benet (2001-2005). She also has a daughter, Nahla, with model Gabriel Aubry.

As a public figure with a history of being involved with “industry” men, it makes sense that the public is a bit more invested in her relationships than some other celebrities.

As Matt Damon recently stated, when you have a famous person in a relationship with another famous person, the public scrutiny doesn’t just double–it grows exponentially.

But to Berry’s credit she has never egged on the extra attention via reality shows or tell-all books. She has done a few revealing interviews with Oprah though.

The scandals

Speaking of Oprah, it was on the media mogul’s show in 2004 where Halle Berry claimed that her marriage to Eric Benet disintegrated due to his sex addiction and she emphatically stated “I will never marry again.”

The sex addiction story was fodder for many gossip posts and Common even referred to it in his song “Faithful.”  Several articles and blog posts with the sentiment “If Halle Berry can’t keep a man, there’s no hope for the rest of us” popped up over night. If being beautiful were all one needed to maintain a healthy relationship, the Hollywood divorce rate would be practically zero.

Berry has been vocal for years about a previous romantic partner who physically abused her to the point that she partially lost hearing in one ear.  Though there’s been lots of speculation about the identity of that mystery man, Berry has never revealed a name.

The star’s first pregnancy while in her 40’s with model Gabriel Aubry generated some buzz due to Berry’s (at the time) firm stance on not marrying again. Berry and Aubry ended up parting ways and a nasty custodybattle of their daughter ensued and Berry was no stranger to a few flare-ups with paparazzi.

Fast forward to November 2012 and Aubry’s name is once again in the news, but this time due to the fact that he was pummeled by Berry’s fiancé (and son of a pro boxer)Martinez in the driveway of Berry’s home when Aubry dropped off his daughter. He was not model-pretty by the end of that encounter.

Too ‘crazy’ to keep a man

After Berry’s divorce with Benet, it became common to read on blogs and hear about in barbershops and brunch tables about how clearly, clearly there must be something wrong with Berry because she’s so beautiful, yet she can’t “keep a man.”

Such a sentiment is offensive on many levels, but it is most disturbing to essentially put all of a woman’s relationship value into her looks and pin any relationship woes squarely on her. That line of thinking basically says that being beautiful is enough to satisfy a man, so if anything goes wrong there must be something off about the beautiful woman.

A comely woman who can’t “keep a man” has to be a special type of crazy because all a man needs is a fine woman on his arm. Duh.

We do not know Halle Berry, her exes, her current man or much of anything else about the inner-workings of her relationships. Our time would probably be better spent analyzing our own lives instead of nit-picking on the gossipy crumbs of celebrity tidbits.

Let Halle be great

Halle Berry is human being, a woman, a mother and an actress. Just like every other person on earth, she is multifaceted and what we see on blogs, in magazines and on television is just a sliver of who she is.

Imagine living in a world where every relationship you had was front page news, your every parenting decision is questioned and complete strangers regularly proffer their theories about circumstances in your life. Fame definitely has a price, especially in today’s 24-hour gossip news cycle.

As for Berry, I wish her happiness as I would anyone else. Whether she is married three times or 30 times, she is entitled to make her own grown woman decisions regardless of the opinions of gossip-hungry strangers.

Follow Demetria Irwin on Twitter at @Love_Is_Dope and connect with her on Facebook

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