Why a step parent is a bonus parent, not a burden
ESSAY - The term “step” has such a negative connotation. Many kids are resistant to the fact that someone may be coming in to try to replace their biological parent...
From Black and Married With Kids:
When I met my step son he was 10 years old, and my step daughter was 6 months old. I have to be honest, I was a bit nervous about dating a man with children. I didn’t have any children of my own and in my own life I was not too fond of my mom’s husband. I wasn’t coming from a total deficit though. As a teacher I had excellent training in child development and I never have any trouble accessing my inner child. As my relationship with my then-boyfriend developed, I fell in love with him, not only as a man, but as a father. And when we decided to marry, I decided, then, that I would be a “bonus” mom rather than a step mom.
The term “step” has such a negative connotation. Many kids, particularly older kids, are resistant to the fact that someone may be coming in to try to replace their biological parent. In order to ensure my bonus children and their mothers that this wasn’t the case, I told them to call me by my first name, “Donnie.” Interestingly enough, my step son has actually slipped up sometimes and called me “mom,” as he lives with my husband and I. He also told me recently that when he gets married he’d like a wife just like me.
I never tried to force myself on my bonus kids.
Read the rest of this story on Blackandmarriedwithkids.com.
