No black girls? Really? Well, at least this is a dating deal breaker for white Austin photographer Larry Busby, who calls himself “Romeo Rose” in the online dating world.
According to an online dating profile many have described as racist, Busby explicitly stated that he would never under any circumstances date black women, sparking a large Internet backlash.
Last week, Busby published a long list of criteria for the type of women he wants to date, and offered $1,500 to the person who could help him meet his dream companion. Busby also stipulated that a $1,000 bonus would go to the person who made an introduction that led to a marriage. He meant business.
What was included on Busby’s lengthy, detailed list of stipulations for a possible mate? He insisted that any possible match be “fit,” or weigh no more than 130 pounds. Busby expressed a preference for red hair (although other colors were tolerable). He prefers a woman who wears dresses, and has not slept with too many men.
Man makes racial preferences explicit
And, absolutely, under no circumstances whatsoever, he stated, would he ever consider dating a black woman — not even if she looked like Halle Berry (as if he had a shot with the currently married actress, or any black woman of her caliber).
“I will not date a Black girl,” he wrote on his own personal dating site, called “Sleepless in Austin.”
“I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry,” Busby continued. “I will not ever date a Black girl. However, I will date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black.”
This last inclusion — or, er, exclusion — did more than ruffle a few feathers. Busby was denounced as “racist” on several sites for stating his preferred races for dating. In response he then participated in an “Ask Me Anything” text chat on Reddit, to try to explain himself.
Racial negativity gets worse
Part of his explanation for refusing to date black women is that, “black people look like apes, monkeys and gorillas.”
The following statement, which was copied from the “Sleepless in Austin” site, goes even further into Busby’s negative beliefs about blacks. He asserted that he would not even date a woman who had been intimate with an African-American man.
“And, I do not believe that Whites & Blacks should mix races sexually and have kids together,” Busby wrote on his site. “I think it’s ok for Whites & Hispanics. But not Blacks. I would NEVER, EVER, EVER date a woman if I found out she had EVER been sexually active with a Black man.”
I read many of the responses to Busby’s statements, and followed the outrage on social media. I also just didn’t get the fuss.
So he doesn’t want a black woman. And? He’s ignorant. Move on.
Why black women are upset
Yet, I understand why so many people were offended. It’s not just because this particular man said he doesn’t find black women attractive. Busby is just part of the overwhelming tirade black women encounter through media that seems to constantly remind them that they are not considered desirable.
There are too many black men, for instance, who troll black women’s websites and can’t wait to jump into the conversations to share how awful, overweight and mean they think all black women are. No, this does not apply to all men, but there is a sizable contingent.
There is also a very vocal group of black men who date interracially. Some like to throw all black women — except their mothers — under the bus to justify why they feel forced to pursue other women.
Black men in sports and entertainment, who often date outside the race, seem to echo Busby’s statements with their romantic choices. The red carpet at the ESPY awards looks like an interracial dating convention.
Not that black women should want to be objectified in hip-hop videos, but it’s obvious that the women selected to appear in them are very often of an unidentifiable ethnic origin.
It also didn’t help matters when Psychology Today published an essay stating that black women are objectively the least attractive women on earth. It just doesn’t stop.
Not bothered by one man’s rant
This one white guy putting black women down didn’t happen in a bubble. It happens all the time, and black women are tired of it.
Perhaps by virtue of what I do for a living, and the racist attacks I receive on a regular basis, nothing about his “I-don’t-do-black-women” stance surprises me. A lot of people are really racist and say and think horrible things about black people. It takes a lot more than Busby’s outlandish dating demands to get me out of sorts.
For me, the real interest lies in the length of Busby’s romantic requirements list. As a relationship expert, I recognize this as a huge red flag. He has since taken the full list down from his personal site, but I was troubled that it seems he wants a trophy wife of any color to show off rather than an actual woman to love, and love him in return.
So he doesn’t like black girls? That’s his prerogative, and also his loss. Busby seems to have a much worse problem with having any capacity to give and receive love, regardless of the race of his paramour.
Demetria L. Lucas is a life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. Follow her on Twitter at @abelleinbk
This article has been updated.