New documentary 'Subjectified' and associated site offer women spaces to frankly discuss sexuality

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Race, sexuality and stereotypes

Due to that approach the film does not explicitly delve into race, although race is brought up a couple times by the interviewees as they tell their stories. One black woman talks about becoming a teenage mother and loathing the fact that people would look at her as just another black, unwed girl having a baby too young.

When asked what was the most important lesson she learned from filming, Goldman said probably the biggest takeaway was how strong women are. To be sure, the film does reflect that; however, her answer is telling in the context of privilege.

“Strong” is an adjective attributed to black women to a fault. The strong, abrasive, ball-busting, “I don’t need a man” black woman is a common stereotype in American culture. Yes, women are strong (giving birth isn’t a walk in the park), and of course black women in particular are strong as well, but do we need a documentary to affirm that?

However, the “women are strong” affirmation is simply what Goldman got from this project. And every person will have her own takeaway from the film. As a black, divorced, heterosexual, childless woman who (thankfully) has never been sexually abused, and whose views on sex have not been influenced by religion, my biggest takeaway was about recognizing my own privileges and perspectives.

As humans, we often take for granted our perspectives and cultural knowledge, and the complex and very unique ways that we have cobbled together our views.

Do Tell Tumblr takes message further

To take the sentiment of Subjectified one step further, Tapper Goldman has created the Do Tell Tumblr, which encourages women to anonymously tell their sexual histories. This gives a wider range of women the opportunity to share and read stories that are often left untold.

A recent New York Magazine article stated that one in three women in the United States has an abortion by age 45. That is probably a shocking statistic for most people because we do not share these aspects of our lives. It is still taboo in many parts of American society for women to speak frankly about sexual behaviors and reproductive decisions.

This is especially true for black women and that whole awful notion of “respectability politics.” Black women are sometimes tasked with taking on almost puritanical behaviors and appearances in order to fend off the infamous Jezebel and Sapphire stereotypes.

Black women: Can we share our sexual histories?

Goldman has specifically reached out to media outlets whose target demographic includes women of color because she knows wants the Do Tell campaign (which runs the entire month of November) to reflect the diversity and similarities in our experiences as women.

“The messages we get in pop culture seep into how we approach people. It has an impact. People have internalized misogyny. When you give women space to tell stories in a more nuanced way, you find out they they are fighting hard and doing what’s right for them.  We have a lot of fighters on our team,” said Goldman.

Visit the official Subjectified website to watch the trailer for the film, get information on screenings, and learn how to purchase it.  Click here to read or submit to the Do Tell Tumblr.

Both the film and the social media project are well worth the time to consume and participate in. They are a welcome respite from the mainstream depictions of women’s sexuality, and an opportunity for black women to cast off related limitations based on stereotypes.

Follow Demetria Irwin on Twitter at @Love_Is_Dope and connect with her on Facebook.