Raven Symone (E! News)

At this point, Raven Symone’s foot should be so far into her mouth that she swallows leather crumbs. She seems to be on a press junket to prove to us that she needs a life mentor.

We used to use Raven as an example of a well-adjusted child star. Now, we need to use her as an example of why critical thinking is important. It mostly started last year when she did an interview with Oprah and said she doesn’t see herself as African American but “colorless.” I was wondering if the girl was gas or water, because I don’t know how she got to that conclusion. She attempted to clean that up to little success. Recently, she was on The View defending the Univision anchorman who said First Lady Michelle Obama looked like a monkey. Her obtuse self said “some people do look like animals. People say I look like a toucan.” I just wanted Sojourner Truth’s ghost to come out and give her a wedgie, because the girl spews nonsense.

The latest Raven Fail is from an interview she did with E! News, where she was supposed to be clearing the air and explaining herself. Being gifted at being clueless is a bit of her superpower, because Raven made us all collectively facepalm when she discussed her Ancestry.com results.

“I am from every continent in Africa except for one AND I’m from every continent in Europe except for one.”

Let us play a game of “Count the Levels of Wrong” in this statement. There’s the fact that Africa and Europe seem to have been upgraded to planets, because the countries within them are now considered continents by Miss Symone, She said it so strong too, with such conviction, and I wonder if geography went on vacation. Did she not pay enough attention to her on-set tutor when she was young, because how did she get here? Nobody’s supposed to be here.

Let’s say that was just a slip of the tongue and she really did mean to say “country.” Let us try to give her some benefit of the doubt and say she just made an honest mistake. Can we call science to the carpet here and ask some real questions? If Ancestry.com told Raven that she is from every country in Africa but one, and every European country but one, she needs to get her money back, and they need to be outed for being fraudulent as hell. How is she genetically linked to over 100 countries (there are 50 in Europe, 54 in Africa)? HOW, SWAY?? I know she really wants to be colorless and not be placed in a box, but the science lie detector says that is a lie. Raven must think she’s Captain Planet’s cousin, and I don’t have time!

When you add her statement after the ultra wrong one that says her family has lived in Virginia for the last 400 years, you just have to wonder why common sense and logic go on break when she talks. Raven Symone is 29 years old, folks. 29. She is not a child, and she is far too grown to be this daft.

I just wonder where her people are? Does she have a PR team or publicist? Why haven’t they stopped her from doing interviews regarding race, ethnicity or anything remotely outside of her talking about characters she’s played? Who in her camp will tell her to go have a stadium worth of seats until she reads some books that will teach her something? I just need her to stop her “I Should Be Quiet About Culture” World Tour.

Luvvie is a professional troublemaker and writer who talks pop culture at Awesomely Luvvie, technology at Awesomely Techie and is the Executive Director of The Red Pump Project. She can also be found on Twitter (@Luvvie), Facebook and Instagram.

Additional Raven Simone Video