‘Insecure’: All the reasons why Lawrence’s fight for Issa is too little, too late
OPINION: He had more than a year to think of a way to win Issa back, and this is how he does it?
First, let me say that I am Team Lawrence. (I wave my red flag proudly!) After he and Issa reunited last season, I did not want to see them part. Once they did part, I wanted to see Lawrence fight for Issa. Immediately.
I wanted him to pop up at her doorstep with that ‘80s boombox in hand, blasting R&B slow jamz outside of her bedroom window. (Not really, but you get my point.) I wanted him to profess his love for her with the spirit of Lorenz Tate in Love Jones, being the blues in her left thigh trying to become the funk in her right. (“A Blues for Issa.”) I wanted him to give me all the feels in his quest to win her back.
But bay-beee! He could’ve come better than that spur-of-the-moment, half-thought-out decision that we saw on Sunday’s episode when he confronted Issa at a public event. This man had a whole year and some change to think about how he could win Issa back, and he decided to slap together that poorly executed attempt at the last minute with her man standing just a few feet away? He had a whole year to think about the best method, the most opportune time. A whole year!
But he decided to think, plan and execute all in the span of a few hours. (But again, after waiting a whole damn year.) That last-minute, “I-just-planned-this-moment-30-minutes-ago” energy he was giving on Sunday may have been cute had it been closer to the time she left him. Maybe I would have been here for it had he showed up the next day or next week on some half-baked plan like this to win her back. I would’ve cut him slack—back then.
But after a year, I’m gonna need him to come better than this.
Where are the flowers? Where’s the love letter? Where’s the marry me? (This is the point, I know, where most of the men stop reading, but this man has already taken five years of Issa’s life. Come with it or don’t come. *blank stare*)
That mess he pulled on Sunday was messy! And hardly any thought went into it. It was the lovechild of some old feelings and a random conversation he had with Chad. Then, boom—he’s blowing up Issa’s life. (And did I mention that it was messy!)
In our 30s, we are grown, grown. That means messy has no place in our vocabulary. That means we move with the understanding that the things we do affect other people in more ways than one. That means we understand that everywhere ain’t always the time and place to do everything.
We begin to not just think about ourselves and our own needs. We think about how what we do affects others too. Part of maturity requires that when you care about someone, you ask yourself, “How will what I’m about to drop on them affect them?” If Lawrence had asked himself that, I’m sure he would have realized that finding another way to reach out to Issa would have been better.
Now, with that said, I’m not going to lie. The showdown had my attention. I definitely hit a “whew, chile” as things began to heat up. I was on the edge of my seat trying to see how this whole thing was gonna go down, and for a moment, I was temporarily on the side of #TeamNathan when he said, “What’s all this?” But when Lawrence hit that “Nah. We were having a conversation” line, I said Okaaaayy, Lawrence. I guess y’all were! (I mean…they were.)
But that was the messy in me. (And the messy in y’all, too.) Had a 30-plus-year-old man really hit us with some messy stuff like that in real life, we would have been both excited and disappointed at the same time, excited that this man could feel that strongly as to “risk it all,” but disappointed at the immaturity he displayed in that moment.
Lawrence could have coordinated with Molly to set up a lunch date with Issa. Or showered her with I-want-you-back roses and balloons. (I mean, he knows her address.) Shoot, he could’ve even hit the Taurean wings-and-wine delivery move. Or he could have simply called her again. Or shared with her through text or voicemail how he felt and laid it out there for her to decide. Because at the end of the day, it’s her choice anyway. No confrontation is going to make her go back to him. (It might just do the opposite.) So, being mindful and tactful about how and when he shared his feelings with her wouldn’t have him missing out on the chance to tell her how he felt.
For me, I think the effort he displayed in Sunday’s episode was too little, too late for my liking.
But at the end of the day, I think Issa will go back to him. And the #TeamLawrence side of me is happy for that ending because when it’s all said and done, everyone has to make the choice that makes them happy. Life isn’t perfect, and sometimes it does get messy.
But the woman in me just wants to see him come correct. I want him to come through with the grand gesture that’s actually well thought out and better calculated for him to win her back. He’s asking her to accept a lot! So, come through with it! Bring out the flowers, roses, love songs, poems—the whole nine. If you comin’ with it, then come with it!
I’m still rooting for him, but the fan in me really wants to see Lawrence show up with a little more than what he came with in this week’s episode. We only have one episode left, and I need him to make them count. Give me something to talk about for years to come because this wasn’t it. (Respectfully.)
Kamaria is an attorney, poet, writer, and lover of all things created #ForTheCulture. She runs a blog, ‘Words of My Mother,’ has lived all over the DMV (heavy on the V), and enjoys skating, debating, and car karaoke. (Because, why not?!) She can be reached on Twitter at @like_tha_moon.
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