Eboni K. Williams on ‘MRS degree’ backlash: ‘Candor can be the most effective form of compassion’
The host of "TheGrio with Eboni K. Williams" broke down the dynamics of her viral clip on "Acting Up" with theGrio's Cortney Wills.
Eboni K. Williams is opening up about that viral “MRS degree” clip. Days after the host of “TheGrio with Eboni K. Williams” sparked online backlash, she revisited the topic, discussing the varying reactions to her comments and more on “Acting Up” with Cortney Wills.
As theGrio previously reported, Williams found herself in the center of a viral conversation after a segment on “TheGrio with Eboni K. Williams.” In the episode, Williams breaks down a topic recently taking the internet by storm: the “MRS” degree, a phenomenon in which primarily white female college students prioritize getting engaged before graduating.
Williams urged her viewers, specifically young Black women, to consider actively pursuing engagement and partnership if that is a goal they have in mind.
“If you are a young Black woman in college, and you know in your heart and in your head that you want to prioritize family, I suggest that you simultaneously pursue that MRS degree right along with that BA or JD,” she said.
Now that some of the dust has settled, Williams reflected on the online conversation and reactions to her comments, including the negative ones. Speaking directly of the Black women who were particularly hurt by her comments, she told Wills that she “holds space for them.”
“I hold the space for Black women who, due to my commentary in what I said and the way I said it … felt triggered, felt pain, felt talked down to, maybe felt some level of shame and frankly, at some point, upsetness and maybe just flat out anger,” she shared. “I hold the space for all of that reaction.”
“I also stand on what I said, who I said it to and why I said it,” she added. “I believe candor can be the most effective form of compassion.”
Williams also took time to clarify her answer in her candid conversation with Wills, specifically acknowledging the Black community’s layer of socio-economics.
“What is different in our culture historically, from the way white women pursue this very topic, pivots and turns on the issue of socio-economics within the Black community,” she said, noting it is often “less of a concern with many of these generational white college young ladies and generational Black college young ladies, because they’re coming from families of wealth.”
“So, they’re not concerned as to who’s paying for, you know, the lifestyle that we want these children to have in these circumstances,” she continued, “because there is a built-in wealth safety net for those particular women.”
Williams also spoke to her perspective, pressing that her advice comes from her own point of view and frame of reference as a woman who was a first-generation college graduate, who was told to focus on her education, building her career and life before seeking “the ring.”
She revealed that her mother’s “command” was: “Build your career, build your financial foundation so that you will never have to depend on anyone less than a man or anyone else. And after you’ve done all of that building academically and financially, pick your head up at that point in life, and then look to partner with someone … and I think that is very common advice from first-generation college ascenders.”
Williams also addressed some of the criticism thrown her way about how she herself is currently single and not yet a mother. “I’m not talking to women about balancing motherhood and marriage,” she said. “I don’t know s**t about that. Let’s be clear … that ‘ring before spring’ thing. That’s real for some women. It’s real for more women than will care to admit it. It matters still in our society when a man drops on a knee and asks you to be his wife. And for those of us who have had that.”
She did, later in the episode, open up about her own fertility journey and plans to become a mother: “Y’all can go ahead and make that ‘She don’t have no kids’ argument while you can over the next couple of months here, because the baby’s coming.”
“I actually think this particular motherhood journey is a really good fit for me and my temperament, my resources, my environment, my support system, and my personality, quite frankly,” Williams said of her plans to pursue motherhood solo. “‘I’m excited about my baby, and I’m excited to be a mom in this particular format.”
The full episode of “Acting Up” is available to stream now.
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