Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
Like I imagine most parents do, I spent a significant amount of time trying to instill manners and respect for elders into my children. They must speak to their elders first when walking into a room and say hello (unless, of course, their elders speak before they get a chance). When meeting somebody, if sitting, they definitely need to stand up when shaking their hand. There are a bunch of little things that all kids are taught from an early age. Boys and girls. You forgive those things when they’re little — while reminding them — and as they get older, you tend to more harshly question why they don’t do the things you’ve been teaching them for years. Parenting, what a joy. (It is a joy.)
So you can imagine how my face contorted when I saw the video of Lil Wayne introducing his three children to Queen Latifah courtside at a Los Angeles Lakers game, and they shook her hand but none stood up. Kids gon’ be kids so while I was wondering why they didn’t stand up, I also realized that sometimes kids need reminding — in the moment. (For the record, this game was on Nov. 22, 2023, against the Dallas Mavericks, so perhaps they’ve since learned their lesson, but me and you, your mama and your cousin, too, just saw this video via social media so we’re going to talk about it.)
Anywho, that’s where I was confused: Lil Wayne didn’t tell his boys to stand up as I expected him to do. That was surprising to me because Lil Wayne is a person from the South and people from the South take such things pretty seriously. I know and realize that Lil Wayne isn’t like the rest of us, but he is from New Orleans and has a Black mother, and Black mothers are usually the first in line to embarrass you for making them look bad. That sense of fear of not wanting to make our mothers look bad usually translates into future action, even if they’re not around.
So, yes, I’m surprised that Lil Wayne didn’t — in the moment — tell his boys, sternly (as my parents would do), to stand up. My parents wouldn’t even have to say “Stand up and shake her hand.” The “stand up” with “the look” would do all of the heavy lifting as I gathered myself and prayed that I didn’t also get a public talking to. Nobody likes a public talking to, especially kids. Thankfully at this point, my kids know that when I give them “the look,” they need to straighten up.
“The look” should be familiar to all, but in case it isn’t, “the look,” best executed by Black mothers in my experience, is the cutting of the eyes directed at a child who should know better but isn’t doing better. In my second-grade class picture at Atterberry Elementary School in Frankfurt, Germany, my teacher, Mrs. Williams, is giving “the look” to a kid named Eddie, and it’s caught on camera. I will never forget that picture. Point is, Lil Wayne didn’t even give the kids “the look” or make them stand up, and I’m confused by it all.
I am going to chalk this up to timing; Lil Wayne is a person who despite being an alien also has sense, and I know he and his kids’ mothers are raising their kids to be respectful citizens of the planet. And I know those kids probably know better than to sit down and shake a person’s hand, be it Queen Latifah or Khadijah James (you see what I did there?). And because social media rules the day, somebody will mention it to Lil Wayne, like his kids’ mothers, and the next time they’re out, those boys will be the quickest to their feet they’ve ever been.
It’s stuff like this that all parents notice and pay attention to. I think it’s cool that Lil Wayne wanted to introduce his kids to Queen Latifah. It’s that introduction that lets me know he knows better. He’s patient and polite. He waited patiently as she shook his youngest son’s hand and then politely said something to the effect of “These are my other two boys.” See? He has manners. And while I didn’t see Queen Latifah’s face, her body language didn’t look offended. So all is well that ends well, I suppose. But mark my words, those boys gon’ stand up next time. They have Black mothers and Black mothers don’t play.
Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio. He writes very Black things, drinks very brown liquors, and is pretty fly for a light guy. His biggest accomplishment to date coincides with his Blackest accomplishment to date in that he received a phone call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his pieces (biggest), but he didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said: “Unknown” (Blackest).
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