Bernice King and Sexyy Red demonstrate how something that could have gone entirely left, can go right
OPINION: With social media (and ego) at play, the brief but positive interaction between Bernice King and Sexyy Red could be a lesson for all of us.
Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
Every year around the third Monday in January, which is a designated federal holiday in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., me and you, your mama and your cousin, too, are likely to see a club flyer or photoshopped picture using Dr. King’s picture or name to promote a party or “give love” to Dr. King on social media. It’s so common that I barely pay the posts any mind. Sure, I think they’re in bad taste, but Dr. King’s name, image and likeness has been so whitewashed and commercialized that I’d bet most folks posting things related to the civil rights icon truly have no idea what he stood for or why such things could be in bad taste. On social media, it’s just what people do; post things related to whatever is happening, have a good laugh and then move on.
Or at least that’s what most people do. If you’re a family member of Dr. King, those posts can hit different. The King family has spent decades trying to protect and honor the legacy of Dr. King, which can often run afoul of what social media users, corporations or whoever else is trying to “honor” him are doing. What one person can see as an innocent, innocuous post and not a big deal, can be seen as disrespectful by the very people who are doing their level best to uphold his aims while dealing with their own grief.
Such was the case recently when Sexyy Red took to her X account and posted an AI-generated image of her and Dr. King standing face-to-face. You know who Sexyy Red is; she’s a rapper from St. Louis who swims in the more raunchy pool of rap music. Sexyy is a fan favorite of many, and even I have been amazed at the reach and love she gets from the hip-hop world I’d never expect. She also is a woman who isn’t afraid to speak her mind or let off a shot or two at those who might oppose her.
So when Bernice King, the youngest child of Dr. King and Coretta Scott King, took to X and responded to the image posted by Sexxy Red by calling it intentionally distasteful and disrespectful (among other things), and asking for it to be deleted, I was both surprised and appreciative of Sexyy Red’s response.
Sexyy Red not only deleted the post, but she acknowledged that Bernice King wasn’t wrong and apologized. I’m not a person who thinks little of Sexyy Red, but I was surprised by her response because I’m surprised by any person who respectfully acknowledges that they shouldn’t have done a thing online because these things usually go left.
Sexyy’s response to Bernice was this: “You ain’t wrong, never meant to disrespect your family my apologies. Just resposted something I saw that I thought was innocent.”
In response to Sexyy Red deleting the picture and showing contrition, Bernice King responded back to her with grace, an explanation and let her know that she valued her as a human.
“Thank you for your apology, which I sincerely accept. Please know that it was not my intention that you be denigrated. I value you as a human being. Her response is being posted in full below.
I hope you understand my concerns about the image. I know that my father has become a bit of a caricature to the world and that his image is often used with no regard to his family, his sacrificial work, or to the tragic, unjust way in which he died (a state-sanctioned assassination).
Unfortunately, I regularly challenge the disregard.
I earnestly wish that people would imagine what it would feel like to see their deceased, murdered father repurposed for party fliers, unjust legislation, etc.
All the best to you, young lady.”
Well shut my mouth wide open. Let me tell you why I appreciate this entire back-and-forth so much. I appreciate it because it could have gone so so wrong. It is not uncommon for pride and ego to get in the way of hearing people out. Sexyy Red could have easily said something untoward to Bernice King and told her to have several seats or been dismissive. “It’s not that serious” is a common refrain of people who have been called out.
Instead, Sexyy Red, for whatever reason and however she got to her reason, acknowledged that the photo she posted was all of those things, or at least she agreed with enough of it to think about what was said to her and who said it. In doing so, took all of the smoke out of a situation that could have been nasty, because I’m sure that Sexyy Red’s fans would have happily told Bernice King she needed to chill out. Sexxy Red pointed out that she did what so many do on social media, just repost things they saw without much thought.
Sexyy Red taking accountability means the issue had no air with which to breathe — she even deleted the picture. Bernice King returned the sentiment with grace for her apology and for Sexyy Red as a human. And then she did the thing that helps any situation that has simmered; she explained why things like this bother her and frankly others who deal with such matters: she hates to see how her father has been misused and treated by anybody who looks to profit or gain favor from his work and image. And then she put the call out to anybody who would listen to imagine what that must feel like from her and her family’s perspective. She then wished Sexyy Red the best allowing all parties to move on without circling back.
I know it seems like such a simple thing or perhaps something that isn’t that noteworthy, but in a time when so many things online go to places they don’t need to go, where elders and icons are subject to disrespect from people who benefit from the work they did but don’t care about the people who helped them benefit, this brief exchange where all parties handled it maturely showed that common decency is still available to us all. If we have a choice to acknowledge and listen, perhaps we should and then we can all learn and not make the same mistakes again. I’m glad Sexyy Red and Bernice King both managed a respectful and peaceful exchange where it’s likely others took notice.
I’m sure Dr. King would approve of that.
Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio and host of the award-winning podcast, “Dear Culture” on theGrio Black Podcast Network. He writes very Black things, drinks very brown liquors, and is pretty fly for a light guy. His biggest accomplishment to date coincides with his Blackest accomplishment to date in that he received a phone call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his pieces (biggest) but he didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said “Unknown” (Blackest).
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