Sheryl Underwood says she won’t shack up, especially with men with daughters: ‘I won’t show your daughters how to be whores’
OPINION: The comedian and actor stopped by "Club Shay Shay" for a conversation about her life, and has some strong opinions about shacking up with a man.
Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
It’s 2025 in Black America, and Club Shay Shay continues to be an engaging and interesting interview platform. On the latest episode of the popular show hosted by Shannon Sharpe, comedian, actor, and TV host Sheryl Underwood stopped by to talk about her life and her career, a career that has spanned decades in an industry where longevity isn’t guaranteed for anybody. They even spoke about an encounter years ago, which explains why the two had such great chemistry during their conversation.
During one segment, Shannon asked Sheryl about getting married (she’s single for tax purposes), and the conversation immediately pivoted to shacking up, a topic that is always ripe for spirited discourse online, and while she spoke in a very personal manner, pointing out what does and doesn’t work for her, it was her comments about why she won’t shack up with a man with daughters that really stood out.
When asked if she would have any interest in shacking up with a man (re: shacking up is living with a person you are romantically involved with, but not married to), she was adamant that she would never do such a thing as she believes that no man should have a key to a house that isn’t his own. Not only won’t she shack up but she is especially not shacking up with a man in her house. Check.
“Can’t no man worth his manhood and his backbone put his key in anything I own and walk in like he run it, or he own it. You are not a man.”
While that is her personal preference and she is entitled to her belief in what does or doesn’t make a man “a man” in her eyes, her comments about shacking up with a man with children are what took the convo to the next level.
“No, I can’t shack with no man. Especially if you have children. And you got daughters? I’m not going to show your daughters how to be whores; I’m not doing it.”
The commentary on not shacking up is fairly common, especially in the Black community. The idea of shacking up with somebody is often frowned upon, even if many unmarried couples do it. But the idea that being a woman who lives with a man with daughters demonstrates what it’s like to be a “whore,” and in this sense, I’m assuming she means a woman who will settle for less than she deserves, is interesting. It implies that if a woman lives with a man she isn’t married to, then she is devaluing herself and doing that thing that has created more panels, podcasts, and arguments about relationships: disincentivizing a man to marry a woman.
Still, the use of the term “whore” is wild. I can understand not wanting to shack up with a man, or with a woman for that matter. As many of our parents have said, two people who aren’t married are single, and single people often have their own spaces. But to go so far as to say that a woman living with a man demonstrates negative or derogatory behavior is not only outdated but steeped in patriarchy. It implies that women cannot be the captains of their own destiny in dating and relationships, and more simply, that a young girl seeing a woman wake up every day next to her father without being married to him is a whore, and I think that’s just…wrong.
Maybe I’m in the minority here. Maybe Underwood used the wrong word. Or maybe she means exactly what she said. Who knows? Comments like that are the reasons why conversations about relationships will always be lightning rods — individual opinions about how to govern yourself before being married are all over the place, and everybody is entitled to their own beliefs, no matter how extreme or outlandish they may seem.
Whew, chile.
Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio and host of the award-winning podcast, “Dear Culture” on theGrio Black Podcast Network. He writes very Black things, drinks very brown liquors, and is pretty fly for a light guy. His biggest accomplishment to date coincides with his Blackest accomplishment to date in that he received a phone call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his pieces (biggest) but he didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said “Unknown” (Blackest).
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