Author and motivational speaker Shaka Senghor recently joined TheGrio Weekly to talk about his new book, How to Be Free: A Proven Guide to Escaping Life’s Hidden Prisons and he revealed the keys to forgiveness, even in the most impossible situations. Senghor served 19 years in prison for murder, seven of which were in solitary confinement, but before doing time he’d been a victim of violence himself: he’d been shot at just 17 years old. Senghor spoke with TheGrio Weekly hosts Natasha S. Alford, Gerren Keith Gaynor, and Panama Jackson about the deep work of emotional liberation: managing anger, finding forgiveness, and healing from that and other trauma.
Senghor, whose memoir Writing My Wrongs became a New York Times bestseller, says his new book expands on his personal journey from incarceration to redemption, offering readers tangible steps to identify and break free from the “mental cages” that keep them bound.
When asked by Alford how to manage anger, which is sometimes righteous, Senghor reflected on how anger can be a powerful signal if handled correctly. “Anger is one of the most important emotions we can have because it signals that something is wrong,” Senghor said. “Where we get ourselves in trouble is when it’s misplaced anger, or anger that doesn’t align with the actual grievance itself.”
Senghor also explained that beneath anger, he often found shame or sadness, emotions rooted in experiences from his past. To manage anger, journaling became a tool for self-reflection and mindfulness, helping him stay grounded rather than letting external triggers or “doom scrolling” dictate his emotions. “At some point you have a choice: are you going to allow external factors to dictate how you feel?” he said. “For me, it was writing it down and being present in the moment. Because when you get beneath anger, what you often find is that people are hurting—and people who are hurting hurt other people.”
Senghor also address the question of what forgiveness really means and what it doesn’t. TheGrio Weekly host, Gerren Keith Gaynor asked about navigating family conflict, and whether it’s possible to forgive someone without maintaining a relationship. Senghor’s answer was clear: forgiveness does not require access. “Forgiveness doesn’t mean front row,” he explained. “It doesn’t mean they have to get a front row seat in your life.”
He shared the story of receiving a letter of apology nearly 30 years later from the man who shot him when he was 17. Senghor said he accepted the apology but didn’t feel obligated to respond. “I don’t owe him that,” he said. “I don’t think anything negatively about him. I’ve given up all negative energy associated with that outcome because the forgiveness was for me.”
That distinction—between forgiving and reengaging—underscores a central message of How to Be Free: healing is an internal process, not one that depends on another person’s repentance. “Sometimes we’re just in the process of getting good,” Senghor added. “That awareness is a game changer.”
How to Be Free is now available wherever books are sold and featured in TheGrio Book Club. Watch the full conversation about confronting pain, practicing forgiveness, and reclaiming power in the video player above.
