Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
There are light spoilers in here, but real talk, if you’ve ever watched a rom-com on Hallmark, you know exactly what’s going to happen.
I love me a good romantic comedy. And not just the ones starring Black people either. One of my favorite movies, ever—and I’m only slightly ashamed to admit this—is “Sweet Home Alabama,” and I’ve watched “Definitely, Maybe” way more than anybody in Ryan Reynolds’ family ever has. I’ve watched all the movies starring Christina Milian and own, on DVD of course, all of the Black rom-coms from the 90s and 00s. I’m all in on the genre. I’ve even seen the ones starring Lil Romeo and there are way more than you think.
Point is, if there’s a Black love story to be watched, I’m watching it. Thus brings us to the latest film in that chamber, “Relationship Goals,” brought to us by Devon Franklin, starring Kelly Rowland, Method Man…excuse me, Cliff “Method Man” Smith, Robin Thede, and others. Devon Franklin likes to focus on faith-based filming so despite the love angle of this film, it’s as safe as they can get. He also has a deal with Tyler Perry’s studio down in Atlanta and the team recently brough us “Ruth and Boaz.” I watched the movie and I have some thoughts about it. Please, allow me to share.
1. I’m heavenly Kelly Rowland-biased.
Allow me to explain. I have no idea if this movie is any good; it felt like a Hallmark movie, through and through. I don’t think Hallmark movies are very good, they’re just meant to make us feel…good things, or something. That’s “Relationship Goals,” though I would wager the bigger point is that there is hope for us all, though sometimes that hope for love results in just buying a dog. I think that’s the point. It doesn’t even matter if it was good or not…Kelly Rowland is in this, and that means I was going to watch and enjoy it no matter what, because if there are two people whose movies I will watch just because it’s Kelly Rowland and LeToya Luckett, my two favorite children of destiny. I luh me some, her. #HiKelly
2. It is SO weird watching Method Man dancing around singing Hall & Oates.
I probably could (and maybe I should) write an entire 2,000-word reflection about how odd it is to see the man who I was first introduced to in 1993 singing, “Method Man,” dancing, and singing 80s jams and being cuddly. It’s acting, of course, and I suppose that demonstrates range, but, like, this is Method Man from the Wu Tang Clan. In “Bring The Pain” he had a half-braided head and a glass eye and looked like an absolute menace.
He was also a menace, just a buttoned-up one on “Power” as crooked attorney Davis West. Now he’s just nice and sings “Can We Talk” in the car like the rest of us. This is how I felt when Ice Cube transitioned into family films, though he tried to kind of keep it ‘cool dad.’ Romantic lead Method Man is fun, but weird. I’m uncomfortable thinking about this. But also, good for him. There is NO way he likely saw this for his life, but what a career, ya know?
3. Did I mention how much of Hallmark movie this is?
Let’s dig a little deeper. You’ve seen this movie before. There are no surprises. You know exactly what’s going to happen. You can get everything you want and still be unhappy because you don’t have love, especially a love that’s staring you right in the face. There’s always somebody who is taking your love for granted and somebody else who is looking for love in all the wrong places. It’s all in “Relationship Goals,” except there’s a book by Michael Todd, called “Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex” to let us know what we should be doing…or shouldn’t.
It even has a cameo from the book’s author where he talks about his own transformation, no pun intended, and features people at his church in Tulsa, talking about how the book changed their lives. In fact, much like “Think Like A Man” was a film that was really a fun, movie-length commercial for Steve Harvey’s bestselling book, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man,” this movie might be cut from the same cloth, though not quite as…fun.
4. A dog named “Boyfriend” actually cracked me up.
You kind of just have to see it to understand what I’m talking about, but that was one of the few times I laughed and thought, ‘well, that’s clever.’ I felt compelled to share that.
5. I feel like there’s a theatrical release version of this movie that I think would be a lot more interesting.
No shade to it, but Method Man and Kelly Rowland as leads with Robin Thede doing funny things as a supporting actress while her boo (who I only remember from being the kid in, I think, “Sugar Hill”) won’t act right and won’t propose is a movie that has lots of comedic potential. Not to mention, Dennis Haysbert is in this movie as Kelly’s father…I feel like there’s a really good movie inside of this waiting to be screened.
Or even better, the book’s author, Michael Todd, talks about his transformation from being a person into addictions and whatnot before going to the Lord. Where is THAT movie??? And not “The Gospel” or any of the other movies with a wayward son who leaves the church and comes back (there are plenty of those and Clifton Powell is in them all, shouts out to the legend), but a movie that really digs into the intricacies of that story, I think might do well.
With that said, it’s Black History Month and Valentine’s Day in a week; go on ahead and fire up “Relationship Goals” with the boo, for the cause. It’s the least we can do. Also, Kelly Rowland is in this and she can do no wrong. #HiKelly.
Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio and host of the award-winning podcast, “Dear Culture” on theGrio Black Podcast Network. He writes very Black things, drinks very brown liquors, and is pretty fly for a light guy. His biggest accomplishment to date coincides with his Blackest accomplishment to date in that he received a phone call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his pieces (biggest) but he didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said “Unknown” (Blackest).
