Clearly, the Internet is out of things to do with its time… and is also suffering a serious case of collective amnesia.
That is the only explanation for all this pearl-clutching over found footage of Jill Scott simulating sex with a microphone. Here it is in case you haven’t seen it trending in your timeline or been tagged by everyone you’ve known in life. (Side Note: Fellas, give it a rest with your breathless emoji eye statuses, you’re not offering anyone inspiration.)
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“SOULFUL BBW DEEPTHROATS HUNG POLTERGEIST ***FACIAL***”
— Fisher Cat Fact Account (@ReverendDrDash) November 13, 2018
The reaction to the erotic imagery so far has been a mix of shock, awe, admiration and of course, grumbling from some sanctified folks who think it’s the precursor to End of Days.
Meanwhile, in the Year of Our Lord 2018, I’m trying to figure out how this is a thing.
We could go all the way back to the beginnings of Rock & Roll and soul to see suggestive stage performances, mostly from male performers.
But surely, even the youngest among us have been schooled to the legendary onstage antics of pop stars including Michael Jackson, who kept a hand on his johnson for the entire span of the 80s or Madonna, who made an actual video during which she seduced Black Jesus (Hey Leon!). I mean, the video has 65 million views so someone has had to have seen this (perhaps even multiple times,) right?
And let’s talk about the Prince of Provocateur Bobby Brown who’s serpentine, stage-sexing moves might have inseminated entire audiences. Long before Chris Brown and Usher got horizontal in front of fans, Bobby B. got arrested once for his moves as is catalogued in an epic AP story from 1989 where a police official is quoted as saying: ″He brought a woman up from the audience and was dancing around her, then got right up to her and began hunching.″
Even a seasoned Bobby Brown ain’t shy on a stage.
I won’t get into the sexual simulations-masqueraded-as-concert performances by the self-described Pied Piper of R&B as he is so problematic and vile, a name check is overly generous, but I will remind you about the babyhair monarch known as Ginuwine.
The R&B star’s arguably biggest hit “Pony” features him sliding around on a stage air humping in front of a room of future MAGA supporters. Check out a light taste of Ginuwine’s gyrations here:
His concert performances are no punk either, I vividly recall seeing Mr. “So Anxious” in the Chicagoland area circa early 2000s and he and his raunchy, pelvis-thrusting dancers make Channing Tatum’s Magic Mike look like he’s doing parlor tricks.
So pardon me if I am not shocked or scandalized by the machinations of the glorious Jill Scott, a gorgeous woman unafraid to embrace her sensual and sexual side. Some are suggesting she hit the brown liquor too hard during sound check, but all I see is a sexy singer in her prime showing off a little bit and hurting not a damn body in the process. I say, let her continue to trend and be great.
If her elaborate “mic check” bothers you, you might want to check your history, then check yourself.
Here’s a little taste of some of the folks on social media who see nothing wrong with Jill Scott showing what she’s working with and teaching some of us in the process.
Hi. I sing/act out all kinds of stories. You should cum to my shows. After a Jill Scott show, most people get splendidly laid by whoever they came with😁👍🏽🎶🤪🎉 #iftheydontFitup #stopfrontinusuckdicktoo
They also usually go on 2happier, more productive, focused, wealthy lives.
— ⭐Jill Scott⭐ (@missjillscott) November 13, 2018
— Jason Million (@JMillionNYC) November 13, 2018
Lmao, I’m DYING because I read the lyrics to Jill Scott’s “Love Rain” in my 9th grade poetry class and got detention promptly after. The teacher had to explain to me why that “poem” was wildly inappropriate.
— Quenchi (@MrQuenchiAdams) November 13, 2018
I will read every last Jill Scott tweet. Also, Lyzel in E Flat, Crown Royal, The Way. Come on, young folk. Recognize what we older women are up to.
— roxane gay (@rgay) November 13, 2018
Me headed to Jill Scott’s house pic.twitter.com/fz81Twhqgq
— Brandon Pope TV (@BpopeTV) November 13, 2018
Mike after seeing that Jill Scott video … 😩😂 pic.twitter.com/15HQYu6zAt
— Ave (@SebastianAvenue) November 13, 2018