Porsha Williams opens up about motherhood ahead of new spin-off show

Apr 26, 2019

Porsha Williams is settling into being a new mommy after the birth of her precious Pilar Jhena, her first child with fiancé Dennis McKinley.

—After FBI raid, Baltimore mayor’s lawyer says she will decide future once she’s ‘lucid’—

But the days and weeks leading up to her birth wasn’t as blissful as things are now that lil Pilar is home. This Sunday, we’ll see just how rocky the road to motherhood was for Williams when her new show The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Porsha’s Having a Baby, airs this Sunday.

Williams opened up to PEOPLE about the ups and downs of being a new mom from her difficult cesarean birth to the difficulties breastfeeding her new baby girl.

“I’m just so happy,” the 37-year-old Real Housewives of Atlanta star, tells PEOPLE.

“She’s everything I ever wanted and I still can’t believe she’s here.”

“It’s been really, really good,” Williams continues. “Baby PJ is well adjusted and I’ve got her to a month now; she just had her month celebration. So we’re making it!”

Williams gave birth March 22 by c-section and she assures her fans it wasn’t a so-called easy way out of giving birth.

“A lot of people think that C-sections are easy — an easier way to give birth. But I assure you, it is full, serious surgery,” Williams says. “It was difficult! Even recovery — healing from the cut and taking care of a newborn while being on pain medication and dealing with your body’s shock of having just had a baby. I’m doing pretty good now, but it was just a lot.”

Williams also had a hard time producing enough breastmilk for her baby, which she says was “the hardest part”.

“It was something I was pretty nonchalant about in the beginning. Like, ‘Okay, if I can breastfeed, that’s fine. If not, I’ll put her on formula.’ It was that simple,” Williams says. “But once she got here and you’re looking at your daughter, you want to give her the world. You want her to have everything that’s the best for her. So it was really difficult for me to come to the realization that I couldn’t pump enough milk for her.”

And like millions of new moms, Williams says she almost “slipped into postpartum depression.”

“I just had to come to terms and be okay with it that I wasn’t able to breastfeed. I don’t even know if my body was ready,” Williams says. “My fiancé was very supportive, some of my friends were very supportive — they just reminded me that it’s okay. You still are a great mommy and you still love her as much as anybody can love her child. And it’s all right. She’s going to be okay. She’s going to get everything she needs.”

—DC officer probed for handcuffing 9-year-old boy for leaning on car—

Williams said she named her baby Pilar, which is Spanish, because it relates to the Virgin Mary, María del Pilar. Her middle name Jhena translates to God, she said.

“I just love that because I’ve been praying for baby PJ, to have a little girl, and God answered.”