Keep that same energy: The Caucasian’s guide to protesting injustice
OPINION: Black America has some advice for the new criminal justice reform activists in Donald Trump's uncivil whites movement
Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
On Thursday, a Manhattan grand jury voted to indict former President Donald J. Trump on charges in a case involving hush-money payments to independent film star Stormy Daniels.
What? I’m not giggling. That’s just the way I cough!
While presidents have been accused of activities ranging from human trafficking and mass murder to funding drug cartels and wearing tan suits, the Trump indictment marks the first time that a former president has been charged with a crime. After all, who could have guessed that a twice-impeached commander-in-chief who instigated an insurrection and bragged that he could get away with murder wouldn’t be able to get away with violating a silly obscure rule created to protect democracy? The same mob of MAGA minions who once chanted “lock her up” and applauded suggestions of police brutality are slowly coming to grips with the fact that America’s foremost Caucasian can be subjected to the “law and order” he once weaponized. For some, like Fox News’ Chief Shucking Correspondent Jason Whitlock, applying the law to someone who broke the law is an outlandish idea.
Whitlock’s eye sockets weren’t the only ones filled with the white tears of self-righteous indignation. Jim Jordan and his Republican colleagues are painting it as a political prosecution. And because the confederate flag industry’s target demographic is collectively flabbergasted by the realization that the criminal justice system could be infested with bias, prejudice and politics, people are predicting that America’s streets will be soon flowing with Caucasian-colored outrage. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) and Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.), are calling for widespread protests to stymie what they call a “witch hunt.”
As a show of bipartisan support for the co-chairs of the Congressional Witch Caucus, theGrio has put together a handy-dandy guide compiled from 400 years of experience by Black crusaders for freedom. To be clear, this is not advice from Black people. Instead, it is the timeless advice that white people have offered to abolitionists, anti-lynching advocates, civil rights activists, anti-segregationists and every person who has ever been indicted for the crime of being Black. While the majority of white Americans have never supported a Black movement for freedom, equality and justice …
Maybe it will work for you.
Violence is not the answer.
Trust me, it doesn’t work.
Aside from the Whiskey Rebellion, Boston Tea Party, the American Revolution, the Civil War, Reconstruction, the Wilmington Massacre, the Red Summer of 1919, the lynching epidemic, the segregation movement, the war on drugs, Rosewood, Tulsa, Orangeburg, Camilia and the Jan. 6 insurrection, when has violence ever gotten white people anywhere?
Black people have never instigated widespread political violence. Studies, analyses and reports have shown that the 2020 George Floyd protests were actually more peaceful than the civil rights demonstrations. And when Black people took to the streets, look what happened! We got criminal justice refo…
Well, the George Floyd Justice in Policing legislation eventually …
OK, that’s a bad example.
Well, police stopped committing acts of brutality on …
Let’s move on.
But what about …
…Chicago? There were 20 indictments in Chicago this weekend; why aren’t you protesting that?
What about the fact that white people are 60% of the population and commit 99.8% of the insurrections?
What about all the good indictments? Bragg has filed charges against more non-presidents than presidents, so how can he be anti-Trump?
What about all the crimes that Trump got away with? How can you claim that there’s a conspiracy against him if he’s never been prosecuted? Systemic anti-Trumpism doesn’t exist.
And what about the Mexican caravan and MS13 and the Muslims and the 40,000,000,000 missing votes and China’s COVID TikTok lab that was silenced on Twitter after Obama’s death certificate and Biden’s clone was ignored by the mainstream media Marxist BLM CRT teachers George Soros paid to indict Donald Trump?
What about that?
Don’t engage in identity politics.
Ignore the people who play the race card and claim that Trump is one of many white people who are oppressed. Just because Trump is a billionaire who’s never had to pay for his many transgressions doesn’t mean he isn’t being targeted by anti-white reverse racism. Although we know that racism isn’t a skeletal condition, insist that you don’t have a racist bone in your body.
It may be hard to deal with the fact that whites only have disproportionate control over 96% of state legislatures, the federal legislature, the federal judiciary, the presidency, the Fortune 500, the financial industry, corporate media, and every institution imaginable. I know most white Americans think that they face discrimination, but instead of race-baiting, you should insist that America is not a racist country. Maybe you should throw in a Martin Luther King Jr. quote in there or something. If that doesn’t work, just remember:
It’s OK to be white.
Respect the police.
It’s not surprising that a guy who demonized the FBI, prosecutors and special prosecutors would be charged with a crime.
If you’re going to protest, respect the laws and the communities you’re in. Don’t burn things down like your team just won the World Series. Don’t loot like you’re stealing land from Native Americans or labor from Africans. And please don’t block traffic like you’re hosting a semi-truck caravan or a white supremacist parade.
Law and order.
Change your culture.
This might sound racist, but I think that people who commit crimes should be charged. If you don’t, it’s probably how you were raised.
I don’t want to sound racist, but …
Now that I’ve said that, I can tell you that in 2020, the most current year for which statistics are available, the Bureau of Justice Statistics notes that white people committed more crimes against other whites than Black people did against anyone. So before you accuse the criminal justice system of being unfair, maybe you should focus on white-on-white crime.
And instead of making heroes out of thugs like Donald Trump, Kyle Rittenhouse and Elon Musk, you should ask how white culture plays into this. You people love to watch “Yellowstone,” listen to country music and hang out with the Proud Boys and then ask why your people are viewed as criminals. Plus, we’re still searching for gangbangers who attacked the Capitol on Jan. 6. The “stop snitching” movement is tearing the white community apart.
Perhaps you should focus on your culture.
Acknowledge the will of the people.
America is based on the rule of law, and Alvin Bragg is a duly elected prosecutor.
If you want to change things, you should vote. That’s what the grand jury did. That’s in the Constitution. If you truly support small government and local control, you should be happy about how this went down. Unless, of course, when you say “the American people have spoken” …
You meant white people.
Don’t play the victim.
I know Alvin Bragg is Black, but, at some point, you’re gonna have to take responsibility for your actions.
Aren’t you the ones who were mad that prosecutors were being too lenient? Didn’t you call for protesters to be thrown in jail? Don’t you call for harsher penalties and more prisons? Didn’t your legislators pass anti-protest laws?
You are the majority of voters, so if anyone is playing politics, they’re playing your game.
If all else fails …
If none of these strategies work, here’s one more.
Treat Trump’s indictment like it’s a school shooting or an act of police brutality. Leave it up to the states like you want to do with women’s bodies and Black people’s votes. Act like it’s a mask mandate or a racial disparity. Pretend Trump’s criminal acts are the same as reparations or slavery or actual history.
Or maybe you should use the one method that Republicans always use. I haven’t tried it but I’m sure it will work. In fact, as a show of support, I am willing to sacrifice my political beliefs and fight for Donald Trump using the one tactic that you insist will always work:
He created America and wrote the Constitution. According to Marjorie Taylor Greene, he blessed America by making Donald Trump the president. He forgave segregationists and separated Mexican babies at the border. I’m sure he can fix this, so here goes:
Thoughts and prayers to Donald Trump.
Michael Harriot is a writer, cultural critic and championship-level Spades player. His book, Black AF History: The Unwhitewashed Story of America, will be released in Sept.
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