Pumpkin is a lie! Sweet potato is THAT pie.
OPINION: Fall has officially started and so have the pumpkin spice wars, but when it comes to pies, there is only one clear choice.
Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
Hello friends, non-friends, and people who are probably going to harass me online for what I’m about to say.
Normally, I would start one of these posts by saying “Let’s argue,” but I’m not doing that today because for what I am coming here to discuss there is no argument.
Let me first make a confession: I have always been a pumpkin spice kind of girlie until this year.
I always made it a point to have at least one pumpkin spice latte or pumpkin cold brew when Starbucks puts them out each year, but that didn’t happen this year. This year, the fall drink I was highly anticipating was that Apple Crisp Oatmilk Macchiato joint.
When I started thinking about why, I realized that the idea of “pumpkin spice” is weird considering pumpkin doesn’t really have a taste. What we are all really lining up for at Starbucks is a hot cup of milk with a few shots of espresso and a ton of cinnamon, allspice, and nutmeg. Basically, we like spicey coffee, because pumpkin does not have a taste.
I’m going to keep repeating that until y’all get it.
Every year as we start gearing up for the holidays, every store starts ramping up their “pumpkin spice” offerings; just look at Trader Joe’s. They have pumpkin everything, including body butter, which I’m actually curious about, because what does pumpkin smell like?
Pumpkin doesn’t have a taste, and what we are really being sold on is all the spices and aromatics they use to add flavor to what is essentially nature’s tofu in gourd form.
It’s pretty much the same thing when it comes to pies.
While I will admittedly eat pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie is the real champion. Pumpkin pie is for white people.
You know how I know pumpkin pie is for white people? Because I grew up in a home with one white parent and one Black parent. On Thanksgiving, we ate a nice formal dinner at my white grandparents house, and for dessert, we had pumpkin pie.
I don’t know if my Grandma Judge made that pumpkin pie from scratch or not; she may have gotten it from Marie Callender’s. The pie wasn’t nasty; it was just pumpkin pie. It went along with the holiday theme, and we ate it.
When we finished dinner at Grandma Judge’s house, my dad would go home, and my mom would cart us across town to my Black granny’s house in South Central Los Angeles (113th and Denker STAND UP!).
My granny would have her own spread and included in that mix would be plenty of desserts, including sweet potato pie.
Sweet potato pie is delicious. It is diabetes in a pie tin. It is full of sugary goodness and the full texture of sweet potatoes that hang around on your tongue and fill your soul with light.
The texture of sweet potato is stronger than the texture of pumpkin pie, and that’s probably because sweet potato pie had to fight all its life to not be mistaken for it’s lesser companion. Sweet potato pie stands out; pumpkin pie does not.
There are Black women and men everywhere who are known for their sweet potato pies. My cousin Shaun, for instance, makes a bomb sweet potato pie. I also make a great sweet potato pie, and I do mine with a buttery graham cracker crust, and that flavor profile is top notch, baby.
I can’t think of anyone I know who is known for making pumpkin pie, and that’s probably because pumpkin pie is the pie people snatch up in the grocery store on the way to the dinner they were invited to so they don’t arrive empty-handed.
Pumpkin is the last minute plus-one because everyone else was busy.
Sweet potato is that pie. It’s not really up for debate. Other pies want to be sweet potato pie, but they are not.
Bean pie, for instance, tastes like sweet potato pie to me, although it’s probably a little milder on the spice end.
Pumpkin pie has a lot of the same spices that go into sweet potato pie, but because pumpkin doesn’t really have a taste of its own, the spices are what makes the pie, not the pumpkin.
Having said all that, I do want to point out that those pumpkin cream pies McDonald’s puts out every year at this time are top tier. The only reason I haven’t eaten 10 of them a week since they came out this season is because I’m trying to watch my sugar intake more closely.
I’m saving all my calories, carbs and sugar for the real star of the show: sweet potato pie.
This isn’t up for debate.
Argue with your white friends who bring pumpkin pie to your holiday gathering like they really did something.
Stay tuned for my future arguments about how candy corn is delicious and whether you should be putting sugar or salt on your grits. We really finna argue over here.
Monique Judge is a storyteller, content creator and writer living in Los Angeles. She is a word nerd who is a fan of the Oxford comma, spends way too much time on Twitter, and has more graphic t-shirts than you. Follow her on Twitter @thejournalista or check her out at moniquejudge.com.
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