Wedding planning has a way of revealing just how deeply tradition and expectation can shape our most personal moments. Between the dress fittings, guest lists, and countless decisions in between, couples are often forced to face the subtle challenge of determining whether their choices reflect their own desires or the expectations of others.
For Charity Lawson, that answer came easily.
As one of only four Black women to hold the title of “Bachelorette” on ABC’s hit dating series, Lawson is no stranger to public opinion. Still, when it comes to planning her upcoming wedding to fiancé Dotun Olubeko, she’s prioritizing intention over tradition. In a recent social media video, Lawson shared that their ceremony will skip several long-standing wedding customs.
“I understand that there are traditions around a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean that just because something is tradition makes it good or appealing to do at your wedding,” Lawson explained.
Here is a full breakdown of Lawson and Olubeko’s wedding rules:
- Limited plus-ones
“Everyone will not be getting a plus-one to our wedding. If I don’t know your significant other, I’ve never met them, never had a conversation with them, it’s not happening. Have it at your wedding,” Lawson noted. “I’m just not fond of boyfriends, girlfriends, showing up at people’s intimate celebrations. I’m meeting them for the first time on my own night.”
- Child-free to keep it stress-free
“We are doing an adult-only wedding. I know, relax,” the season 20 Bachelorette explained. “Obviously, I love kids. I only say that because I understand the weight and the responsibility of kids. We’re going to let loose, have fun. I want truly, to the walls loose, not having to worry about anything else.”
- Bridesmaids ≠ wedding planners
When it comes to her bridal party, Lawson is drawing a clear line. Rather than assigning planning duties or day-of responsibilities, she wants her bridesmaids to be fully present to celebrate, not coordinate.
- No WWE-style bouquet toss
With plans to preserve her bouquet, Lawson says she’s looking for alternatives to the typical “fighting, crawling, and scratching” that can occur during bouquet tosses. “ I love the significance behind it,” she said of the long-standing tradition of passing on the love to whoever caught the bride’s bouquet. “I am not sure what I’m gonna replace this with.”
- No garter toss
When it comes to the typical risqué garter toss, Lawson and Olubeko will reserve those activities for their honeymoon.
“You will not catch Dotun crawling under my dress. It will not be taking place on the grounds of my wedding,” she emphasized. “Doing all that in front of my father, his father, there’s a time, and there really is a place. It’s giving circus act. I’m not putting on a performance. That will happen in the honeymoon suite, thank you.”
