Rap Genius: The top 5 rap lyrics of the week — We had to include Eminem, of course

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Rap’s most anticipated release, Eminem’s MMLP2, dropped this week.  Only time will tell if it’s a revitalizing return to form or part of a slow downward trajectory.  But one thing is sure — even in his most awkward or confusing moments, Marshall Mathers can rap better than pretty much anyone out there.

The non-Eminem rappers of the world acquitted themselves pretty well this week as well.  Action Bronson took an anatomically challenging car ride, Chill Moody paid tribute to the greats, Roc Marciano got clinical, and Termanology got crazy.  Below, the lines of the week.

5.  “Hand up her a** like a Muppet Baby, it’s crazy/While she do a buck eighty in a mustard Mercedes” — Action Bronson, ‘Through the Eyes of a G’ lyrics

While the Muppet Babies were cartoons and not puppets, Bronson still manages to paint a vivid picture.  And points to the driver for managing to stay on the road!

4.  “My groove won’t stop ’til my crew’s on top/Here to clean the game up, I want Pujols’ spot” — Chill Moody, ‘Change Coming’ lyrics

As huge Jay Z fans, we were pleased to see Chill paying tribute to one of his greatest songs, “Lucky Me.”  Jay’s OG version of this line was a bit more fatalistic: “You know the shit don’t stop ’til the Cris’ don’t pop/And you have to kill a ni**a and your wrist don’t lock.”

3.  “Smash ratchets ’til the shaft of my penis is flaccid/This is classic, I’m thinking past G-wagons” — Roc Marciano, ‘Doesn’t Last’ lyrics

Roc’s clinical lingo catches the listener off-guard, all the more so because of the violent context.  It’s like holding sex ed at a shooting range.

2.  “I’m a Mercedes lover/Also, I’m a crazy brother/I’ll smother your baby and throw him inside of flaming covers/Wrap him up inside a Polo sheet/At least he died in style, man – he coulda died with Payless on his feet” — Termanology, ‘I’ll Never Forget’ lyrics

This kind of elaborate, darkly funny, violent scenario is stock-in-trade of all the best rappers.  Think of Hov’s famous “Look at him, still sleeping” quip, or Big’s recounting of his good friend Gutter.  Term’s extended scene may someday end up in that hallowed ground.

1.  “I’m the definition of what a concrete chin is/’Cause no matter how many times you sock me in it and knock me to the canvas/Even the boxing critics/Know that if I get off to a rocky start, I’ll always have a Rocky finish” — Eminem, ‘Don’t Front’ lyrics

We had to include some Em, of course.  In these lines, he takes his long-running boxing obsession to a logical end, punning on (and comparing himself to) Rocky in the slickest way possible.