Roseanne Barr says she’s considering her options…here’s a few gigs she’d be good for

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Roseanne Barr is likely in need of a new gig now that she has been fired by ABC for her racist remarks against Valerie Jarrett.

Even though the shamed comedienne swore off social media after issuing a lame apology, she’s back on Twitter defending her actions and insisting she’s not a racist.

“I’m not a racist, I never was & I never will be. One stupid joke in a lifetime of fighting 4 civil rights 4 all minorities, against networks, studios, at the expense of my nervous system/family/wealth will NEVER b taken from me,” she posted.

Now, she says she’s contemplating her “options.”

“you guys make me feel like fighting back. I will examine all of my options carefully and get back to U,” she posted on Wednesday.

https://twitter.com/therealroseanne/status/1001899688474259456

Here’s a rundown of gigs we think the former Roseanne star would be best-suited for:

White House Press Secretary. 

Roseanne Barr clearly has a talent for sticking her foot in her mouth and coming up with preposterous excuses for obvious offenses. Her knack for back-pedaling would come in handy if she decided to replace Sarah Huckabee Sanders and start spinning the truth for her beloved President Trump.

Crisis Consultant. 

There are actually experts who specialize in the field of managing crises like the one Barr is currently experiencing. Although we doubt any firm would take her on as a client, her ability to conjure up justifications for bad choices could come in handy for other folks looking to explain away their ridiculous antics. Fired on a racist rant? Blame Ambien! Drive your car into a tree? Blame the bird flying overhead that distracted you from the road! Forgot to feed your kid? Blame the grocery store for being too far away from home. She can pull excuses out of thin air like a champ.

Waffle House Manager.

We’re thinking The Waffle House may open their doors to a celebrity manager considering she shares the restaurant chain’s core values of racism and discrimination. Allowing security to drag black women out of their establishments and calling cops on patrons because of their skin color could be right up her alley, especially since she was just fired by a black woman at ABC.

Starbucks Barista. 

Even though Barr missed out on the racial bias training that Starbucks held on Tuesday, her newfound sense of humility could go a long way at the chain that made headlines for discriminating against black folks. Barr has been slipping her racist antics through the cracks of the public eye for years and even though the coffee chain has pledged to make a change, we’re guessing they will continue to employ several covert racists across the country so Roseanne would fit right in.

Fox News Correspondent. 

We’re stating the obvious here but something tells us FOX would have no problem scraping up ABC’s sloppy seconds. Their correspondents are constantly spreading lies and defending despicable behavior while touting themselves as the best in the business. Roseanne would do an amazing job at pedaling their unique brand of BS and serving up falsehoods about minorities.