Pastor John Gray has set the Internet on fire after an appearance on Sister Circle Live,
where he talked about his relationship with wife, Aventer Gray, and how they’ve interacted over the years. Pastor Gray has said that his wife has suffered more through raising him as a man than she did in giving birth to their two children. 

The viral clip sparked debate about what constitutes a healthy marriage— particularly ones that include Black women. 

Writer Candace Marie Benbow contrasted John Gray’s clíp with an interview of former FLOTUS Michelle Obama talking about her marriage with former President Barack Obama.

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Others defended Gray, saying they saw nothing wrong with him talking about his wife— and saying that in marriage people will have to carry each other’s burdens. After the backlash, Pastor Gray and Aventer Gray took to live video to explain where they were coming from and Aventer also took to Instagram to post the following:

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Does his message make sense or does it promote harmful relationship expectations?