‘I love my wife but I can’t let her take away my life!’: B. Smith’s husband responds to critics

Dan Gasby opened up about his relationship with his live-in girlfriend Alex Lerner in a Washington Post profile that ran Monday.

Dan Gasby and B. Smith thegrio.com
Dan Gasby and B. Smith attended the BET Honors in 2013. (Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for BET)


B. Smith‘s husband Dan Gasby took to social media to defend his decision to start dating another woman while caring for his wife, who has Alzheimer’s.

Gasby, 64, has been the primary caretaker for the former model and restaurateur since she was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2013. He opened up about his relationship with his live-in girlfriend Alex Lerner in a Washington Post profile that ran Monday.

“If This Is Us and Modern Family came together, it would be us,” he told the Post in the profile. The three of them live together in the couple’s home in the Hamptons home when Lerner is visiting from Manhattan.

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Well, Gasby’s fed up with the angry social media backlash he has taken, which included people demanding he be arrested and claiming that he is abusing his wife. Gasby took to Facebook, where he runs B. Smith’s account, to let people hear it.

“I only wish someone in your immediate family has Alzheimer’s so you can see feel and experience the pain of millions of people across this country so you can know firsthand what it’s like to care 24/7/365 for someone who can no longer care for themselves,” he said in the angry, rambling post that referred to one critic as a “thot,” and took a swipe at TheGrio.

“And last of all, but to me least of all, to those religious Neanderthals who judge as if Jesus was a ball and God is a bat swinging wildly and judging harshly I say to you,” he continued, “B.Smith’s worst day is 10x better than you’ve experienced. I love my wife, but I can’t let her take away my life.”

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The social media backlash has been harsh and swift from those who quickly condemned him for bringing a white woman into the home while B. Smith suffers from the disease.

“[Lerner’s] having her lifestyle funded by a black woman, and this white woman didn’t have to build a thing with you,” Danielle Milan, a YouTube vlogger, said in a Dec. 27 video that has amassed nearly 200,000 views. Gasby spent years as his wife’s business partner, and prior to that, worked as a successful television producer.

A number of people have come to Gasby’s defense and noted that he shouldn’t be judged because despite the outside relationship, he has still served as his wife’s caretaker. Still, he will remain defiant about his life.

Gasby’s rage online is nothing new. In the Washington Post piece, Gasby’s daughter, Dana mentioned that she has talked to her father about it before.

“I tell him all the time to be careful with what he posts,” she said. “I say: ‘Look, you’re going to make people mad. You either have to be okay with that, or you have to change.’”

Gasby has made it clear that he is not at all ashamed of his relationship and will continue to care for his wife, whose condition has deteriorated over the years. He also had a final message for those who could end up in this position.

“[Five]-10 years from now when many of you who will have an almost predestined meeting with Alzheimer’s because of genetics, obesity, and a myriad of inflammatory diseases, you’ll be wishing for someone to share moments with and ease the pain of loneliness and despair,” he said. The clock is ticking. I know I can and have [managed] this, but can you do it too?”