Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
Each season of Netflix’s “Love is Blind” has yielded exactly two marriages. No more. No less. In its fourth season, the show is down to four couples.
I’m no mathematician, but — everybody ain’t makin’ it! (It’s giving Tyra with two girls in front of her but only one photo in her hands.)
Some of these folks are getting dropped off, honey … with a one-way ticket and the suitcase that they came with.
“Love is Blind” takes no prisoners. Either you’re getting married or you’re getting dumped on your wedding day. There’s no in-between. And as we await Friday’s nuptials, we can’t help but to wager our own little bets about who’s making it and who’s definitely not.
What started off as 30 singles has whittled down to eight individuals ready to say “I do.” This show has become the guilty pleasure we love to hate. It’s unapologetically high-drama TV, but it mirrors real life with its mix of fake foolishness (cue any Jackie clip) sitting side by side with elements of real love (both of season 1’s couples are still married almost five years later). So, we the fans endure the fame-chasing villains and the catty drama (secretly hating and loving both) because we know real marriages have come from this social experiment, and we’re here for it!
But with each season, both the red and green flags are getting easier and easier to spot. We can literally color code the red-to-green flag spectrum from the reddest of reds (the Bartises and Zanabs of the world) to the greenest of greens (fan favs Cameron and Lauren). And these flags help us make predictions about who’s making it and who’s not.
So, without further ado, let’s get into it.
Tiffany & Brett: Will they say “I do”?
If they don’t say “I do,” I’m throwing something at the TV. Yes! Ten times over! Tiffany and Brett are literally the only confirmed yes at the top of everyone’s will-they-or-won’t-they list. The fandom will be shocked — Soulja Boy “Draaaake” level shocked — if these two don’t end up saying “I do.” They both authentically appear to be into each other more than any of the other couples. They effortlessly seem like two peas in a pod. They’re the type of couple that would’ve met in the real world. The term equally yoked (in a non-religious sense) comes to mind when thinking of them. They seem like they met each other at the right place and the right time in their lives. Their vibe doesn’t feel forced.
So … if Tiffany and Brett don’t get married, I’m gonna need the “Love Is Blind” producers to stop the cap! Stop the deceptive editing because there’s not one red flag popping up anywhere in this mix, so if either of them say no at the altar, my side eye at the editing team is going to be strong!
Kwame & Chelsea: Will HE say “I do”?
Even before the last episode dropped, we all knew Chelsea was saying “I do” to Kwame. Homegirl sunk her claws into Kwame in the pods and hasn’t looked back one bit. She’s not even looking down to realize that those very claws are damn near gutting Kwame. He is hella uncomfortable in this relationship, and I will be 1000% surprised if he says yes.
He looks scared, acts bothered, and appears truly uncomfortable in this relationship. (It’s giving hostage.) He seems like he doesn’t actually want her. Every time he speaks beautiful words to her, I’m surprised that the words come out of his mouth because his actions are yelling “I’m not sure about you.” And truth be told, he shouldn’t be sure. He doesn’t seem like he can be himself around her.
Chelsea is literally looking for an instant husband to neatly fit into her fully formed life. Add Kwame and stir. She doesn’t seem to want to integrate her life with his and incorporate what is valuable to him into their union. It’s more like “Let me convince you of all the fun you’ll have stepping into my life, with my family, my dog, my home, in my city” instead of asking “How do we mutually see enjoyment in our life that we are creating together?” That’s probably why she clings so hard to him. He’s like an African Ken — the perfect adornment to her life. She just wants him to stand there and look pretty to fill the space left for the role of generic husband in her life.
And he’s not blameless. He’s giving off major “I go where I’m smiled at vibes.” And now he’s stuck with the mess of his own creation. While he probably dodged a bullet with Micah, I’m not sure Chelsea is what he needs either. Even though he made a beautiful speech at what they’ve shown of the wedding thus far, Kwame is truly acting unsure. (Yellow flags.) Either way, nothing about this union is saying longevity.
Bliss & Zack: Will they say “I do”?
Probably, yes. But the better question is, should they? Or should Bliss, rather? Her first instincts about Zack’s poor judgment were spot on! Him initially picking Irina over her, then realizing he made a mistake is a top-tier example of poor judgment. (Major red flag, Zack.) Irina literally would have been this season’s villain had Jackie not said, “hold my beer” and shown her entire behind. Zack’s decision-making should concern Bliss. That should give her every reason to take things slow with him. Why rush after he’s already proposed to two women in one month? This is why long engagements were invented.
With that said, it’s hard not to admit that these two seem to actually have an authentic bond in a weird way. They really appear to genuinely like (or love as they say) each other. So, it seems like they are ultimately both going to just scream YOLO and say yes, and they may even make it in the long run. But since their story already started off on the wrong foot, it’s really hard to understand what’s the rush. That unanswered question gives me pause about them both. And Zack’s poor judgment gives me even more pause. So, a probably yes is the best guess for their chances of making it down the aisle.
Paul & Micah: Will they say “I do”?
Nope! Micah seems like she’s just here for viiiiiiibes. She’s here for a good time, not a long time. And truth be told, it’s not even clear that she liked Paul before her buddy Irina started pushing up on him.
Paul, on the other hand, does — for whatever reason — seem genuinely interested in Micah. (It’s gotta be the she-reminds-him-of-his-mother connection.) Even with her flirting with Kwame during the Mexico trip, Paul didn’t see her in any different light. It almost appeared that if Kwame had actually taken the bait and pulled a “Zack” by professing his love for her, she probably would have left Paul and went for Kwame. But when that door seemed to close, she appeared to make peace with walking through the one that was open — Paul’s. (Red flags all day with her, and her friendship with Irina raised even more flags.)
And even with all of that said, there are still questions about whether Paul will actually say yes. He seems to like her, but he also seems intelligent. And his intelligence might just spring to life at some point and choke him at the altar, stopping him from marrying her.
To cut to the chase, I have zero faith in this wedding.
The Dishonorable, Honorable Mention: Jackie, Marshall and Josh
Even though Jackie and Marshall didn’t make it down the aisle, in the words of Missy Elliot, “I ain’t even gonna leave without sayin’ something on this track” … about this trainwreck. That felt like a three-way trauma bond. The nice guy who doesn’t know his worth goes looking for a “project” to pour love into, hoping that her gratitude for him “saving” her will cause her to inevitably pour love back into him, thereby validating his worthiness for love meets said “project” (A.K.A. a girl who idolizes toxic love and thinks excitement can only be found in toxicity) who then gets swept away by the guy who screams toxic masculinity and enjoys charading as an “alpha” and making other men feel small.
From the moment Marshall started having beef in the men’s quarters with Josh over Jackie, I knew this triangle was going to implode. And contrary to popular belief, all three of these people could use some healing — not just Jackie and Josh. Jackie and Josh are obvious. Toxic pits are their playgrounds. But Marshall has his own healing to do as well. That relationship needed to crash and burn.
All in all, these couples gave us good TV. And like most of the fandom, I’m just here to eat popcorn and talk sh*t! And now that these predictions are in the books, I just need someone to throw some dollars my way when I turn out to be right on Friday!
Kamaria is an attorney, poet, writer, and lover of all things created #ForTheCulture. She runs a blog, ‘Words of My Mother,’ has lived all over the DMV (heavy on the V), and enjoys skating, debating, and car karaoke. (Because, why not?!) She can be reached on Twitter at @like_tha_moon.
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