Love and success are more important than preserving your race

OPINION - In the end, is race really worth preserving, when the alternative means denying oneself the pleasures, securities...

TheGrio Staff

Oct 20, 2009

The black family is in constant crisis, with absentee fathers, children born out of wedlock and a lack of marriageable men. So-called widespread deficiencies in black culture continue to spur on new initiatives that aim to repair what many see as an ever-fracturing black community. Hampton University’s National Center on African-American Marriages and Parenting is one such recent effort.

What exactly is the problem? Washington, D.C. delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton put it this way: “For the first time, young black women cannot necessarily look forward to marriage as the next natural state of life. They are finding themselves without comparable mates.” The statement of course assumes that comparable mates are black mates.

But does the survival of the black family and the wider black community depend on fostering relationships that not only thrive within the bonds of marriage, but that flourish because they are within the boundaries of race? Does interracial marriage pose a greater threat to one’s well-being than not marrying at all?

When we move beyond the pleasantries of love, passion, lifelong companionship and the various other emotional benefits of marriage or committed relationships, one of the most important goals is often money. That is, increasing family income and, of course passing wealth on to future generations.

Obviously, two incomes are better than one. But beyond that, a recent study form the Social Science Journal reinforces a long known notion: that marrying outside one’s race is associated with higher socioeconomic status in terms of education, occupational prestige and per capita income. This is particularly true for African-Americans, who stand to gain more because they generally fall lower on the socioeconomic ladder than other minority groups. If income, social status and wealth are goals of marriage, then black women would be better off married to a white husband or perhaps even an Asian or Hispanic man than remaining on her own.

Raising socially and emotionally healthy children is, of course, another major goal of marriage. With this in mind, are the children of black mothers better off with no father present than they might be with a father who does not look quite – or at all – like they do? The prevailing opinion that black children are better off with black parents was the primary argument used for decades to prevent interracial adoption. But is the opinion valid?

Some studies, like one in a recent edition of Sociology Quarterly, have demonstrated that multiracial adolescents have no greater social and emotional problems than young people of a single race. In fact, other studies, such as one conducted this year by psychology and business professors at Stanford University suggests that children who closely identify with their bi-racial or multiracial heritage are socially and emotionally healthier than those identifying with a single racial group. While such studies do not affirmatively prove that mixed-race children are better adjusted than those whose parents share the same race, they certainly conclude that racially-mixed parentage does not hurt.

Another motive that some may have for promoting same-race unions is to preserve black culture. But are skin color and culture are inextricably linked? Are particular forms of black cultural expression – whether it be artistic expression, a certain sense of style, or a particular form of social interaction – doomed to disintegrate in the absence of people who look like those from among whom the expression originated?

Whether we look at popular black music, black fashion, black slang or African-American vernacular English, evidence seems to suggest that such forms can not only survive but can thrive when those who practice, engage or otherwise perform it are not black. Thus, one need not necessarily prefer a black partner if one deems it important to sustain black cultural life.

It seems the only real reason to insist on black marriage, or deny oneself the opportunity to be married at all, is to preserve the only thing one can guarantee will be preserved through a same-race union: race itself, and by that I mean blood and skin color.

In the end, is race really worth preserving, when the alternative means denying oneself the pleasures, securities and benefits of finding a mate, raising children and pursuing a family life together? I think not.