For better or worse, Jay Z and Beyoncé's marriage, baby choices a model

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Nothing moves me quite like a good love story.

And forgive my bias, but nothing is quite so sweet as the sight of black love. If one believed the mountain of studies, you would think it’s all a fairytale. Too many angry black women; too few emotionally and physically available black men.

Navigating the oft times tricky waters of marriage isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s real work.

Unfortunately, too many African-American families don’t make it; or worse, they never come together at all. The number of out of wedlock births continues to climb at a disproportionate rate in the black community — especially among unmarried teenagers.

WATCH theGRIO’s GOLDIE TAYLOR DISCUSS THIS STORY ON MSNBC:
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Today, one in five children in the U.S. lives below the poverty line, meaning they don’t always know where their next meal is coming from. The resulting cycle of under- and mis-education all but guarantees a child will live a substantial portion of their lives without at least one parent present — most often their father. The number of absentee fathers has nearly tripled in the last 20 years.

It’s hard to bank on black love in the face of such damning statistics. Righting the wrong, and breaking the cycle, means learning to celebrate those who work hard to get it right.

I was raised on hip hop, but I’m waiting for the day when the hyper-sexualized, misogynistic lyrics give way to the return of the soul-searching poetry that once reflected and detailed our condition. I long for the day when we get back to fighting the power, rather than fighting ourselves. Don’t get me wrong. I believe in popping bottles, just not in the crack of a woman’s derriere.

In an age when Housewives aren’t really housewives. and celebrity can be bought with one-night stand with the latest, greatest basketball star, it’s becoming harder to find prominent role models who value traditional marriage. So-called “reality television,” with its destructive stereotypes and negative imagery, is selling the idea that love doesn’t matter. Mutual trust and self-respect are all too often missing qualities.

And then there’s Beyoncé Knowles.
She had me from the moment she demanded that he say her name. I remember when her platinum hit “Irreplaceable” had me thinking about moving some boxes to the left. Beyoncé proved, time and time again, that being in love didn’t mean losing yourself. We watched her mature from a bright-eyed schoolgirl into a world-class, multi-platinum, Grammy Award-winning superstar who kept her class when so many others chucked their pride for a ride in a Bentley coup.

She gave the world all that they wanted, but managed to save the best for herself — and for her husband, born Shawn Carter, known to the world as Jay-Z.

Notoriously and rightfully private about their relationship, Hova and Bey took their dear sweet time acknowledging their relationship. They went through such great pains to hide their wedding ceremony that Beyoncé was reportedly secreted to a side entrance of a New York high-rise in the back of a cargo truck. Who knows if that’s true, but there is something to be said about the way they’ve protected their love. There is something to be said about how responsible they’ve been as celebrities, giving unselfishly to communities around the world, holding themselves out, when others shirked the duty as role models for young people.

She didn’t need a throw a drink, sucker punch somebody or even get a MTV Video Music Award to steal last night’s show. Draped in a shoulder-to-floor, flowing red Lanvin gown sewn by the legendary Paris fashion house, Beyoncé let the world in on a wonderful secret. In a few months time, the megastar will become a mother for the first time.

Later in the evening as her husband danced triumphantly backstage, trading hugs and bumps with his entourage, the Divine Miss B gave the performance of a lifetime. The crowd roared as she revealed the growing belly cloaked beneath her purple sequined tuxedo jacket. In doing so, Beyoncé demonstrated a level of grace too often missing in popular culture.

Yes, I have severe issues with Hova’s latest album on which he reportedly refers to his wife as a bitch. That’s a dangerous message I’m not sure he wants his unborn child to hear. I doubt he wants to give his daughter’s husband permission to treat her that way. Maybe it is just art, but I cannot give him a pass on that.

However, I can celebrate the husband and sophisticated businessman he has shown himself to be. “There’s always an extra level you don’t know about,” he told Rolling Stone last summer.

In a snap of her hip, Beyoncé told young women around the world that anything you want can be yours if you work hard. That, if you follow your passions and invest every thing you have, every thing — including an exclusive French gown — can be yours for the choosing. You can get to the “extra level”. But more importantly, she told them if was okay to wait.

Not so long ago, Beyoncé was a little girl in Houston with big dreams. If she had given in to our culture of instant gratification, we may never have heard the 29 year old’s name.