Where is the black 'New Normal' in primetime?
OPINION - It is absolutely wonderful that sitcoms like 'The New Normal' are expanding the definition of the nuclear family; yet, they are completely ignoring the fact that black people are leading the way in this revolution...
“As of 2009, the blended family is the most common family form in the U.S.,” Philyaw tells theGrio. To make her situation even more unique, she actually chose to continue living in Pittsburgh instead of moving to Maryland where her new husband resides. This way she and her ex-husband can continue their 50-50 shared custody arrangement. Her new husband has a similar arrangement with his ex-wife. “I would say that these dynamics are working for us,” says Philyaw, who started a successful website – Co-Parenting 101.org — to talk about her co-parenting experiences and to counsel others who are trying to find a similar balance.
Philyaw can only laugh at the fact that her modern blended family reality – did I mention one of her daughters is adopted and she is also an active stepmother to her new hubby’s teenagers? – isn’t anywhere on primetime. “Well, there was All of Us, the sitcom loosely based on Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith’s blended family, but that only lasted three seasons,” Philyaw jokes. Still, it irks her that the media always seems to take longer to catch up with black America’s reality. “We didn’t even see professional, two-parent households [on TV] until The Cosby Show came along,” she says, adding, “If we let TV tell it, black America is always a day late and a dollar short.”
The same can be said about black Americans who are gay and raising families. Where are they in primetime? And again, this isn’t just about equal opportunities for black actors; this is also about being even moderately honest about family life in today’s America.
Seriously, if Modern Family was billing itself as fantasy television, then I’d probably be quiet. Notice, I have no qualms with that new ABC show about the family who discovers they live next door to aliens. If they don’t feature any black people on that show, that’s okay. As far as I know, there aren’t any black people in outer space. But there are black gay parents raising their kids in almost every city in America.
In fact, the typical gay family raising kids in America today includes at least one black parent. And not for nothing, they’re not living in a luxury apartment in Soho or in a rambling mansion in Hollywood, but rather in Jacksonville, Florida, the city with one of the largest numbers of same-sex parents in the country.
Bless Wanda Sykes, Lee Daniels and LZ Granderson — affluent, black entertainment insiders — for openly sharing their trials and tribulations as black parents who happen to be gay. But, wouldn’t it be nice to have just one black gay family to see in primetime? They don’t have to be any more ‘real’ than David and Bryan on the New Normal with their perfect house, perfect jobs and a super cute surrogate with a quirky daughter. I can see it now: a black lesbian couple raising twin boys in Florida. One woman is a civil rights attorney and her partner is an interior designer from New York who hates the South. Shonda Rhimes should get on that. If she doesn’t do it, who will?
Hopefully, with the success of The New Normal, a sitcom featuring a white gay male couple with an assitant played by reality queen NeNe Leakes, there will be more room on the air soon for this type of show. But for diversity on TV to reflect that of African-American families, the public will have to let the networks know what “the new normal” has been for blacks for some time now.
“The public has to push the media to do the right thing,” Sharon Lettman-Hicks, the Executive Director and CEO of the National Black Justice Coalition (NBJC), told theGrio. As the head of a civil rights organization that fights to promote the rights of black LGBT families, Lettman-Hicks recognizes the importance of positive media stereotypes, but she’s not holding her breath waiting for Hollywood to lead the way. “I give a lot of credit to some of the black media for doing responsible coverage of our community, but [Hollywood needs] to catch up,” she says.
Really, I’m not surprised that black people don’t get the credit for redefining the new normal on mainstream television. After all, most of our contributions to American pop culture are repackaged and resold as someone else’s ideas. (Remember when cornrows where renamed Bo Braids because Bo Derek wore them in a movie?) But that doesn’t mean we should give up trying to see ourselves on TV in both positive and realistic ways. If Shonda Rhymes isn’t up for the task, maybe Bill Cosby can come with a black Modern Family-ish sitcom. Now that would be a really different world.
Lori L. Tharps is an author, journalist, college professor and mom. Her book, Hair Story, “contextualizes, demystifies and explains the significance of Black hair in American popular culture,” according to her web site. Follow Lori L. Tharps on Twitter at @LoriTharps.
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