7 inspiring millennial moms share their best self-care tips

By Natasha S. Alford

·January 9, 2019

No one deserves “me-time” more than moms. And with 2019 in full swing, self-care seems like the go-to resolution for a generation that’s more busy and plugged into the world than ever.

Thankfully, a new generation of moms are being even more open about how to get the quality time they deserve, without putting themselves last on their to-do list or spending tons of money.

We gathered some of the most inspiring Black millennial mothers, holding every role, from professor to blogger to publicist, to tell us how they make magic happen — all while being true to their wellness.

Mattie James, Lifestyle Influencer (@themattiejames)

Tip #1: Set Aside 100 % Silent Time

“Silence has been a part of my self care lately. Between having a family, a team and a nonstop timeline, it seems as though my headspace is going at a rapid pace the majority of the day,” says James, a lifestyle influencer, fashion guru and blogger.

“Now, I make it my business to ensure at least 5 minutes (sometimes 30!) of pure silence. I’ll close my eyes and just focus on my breathing.”

The former Miss Liberia winner, also says having a meditation practice is key.

“Meditation is so important, because it allows my mind to rest before being Used consistently in both my personal and business life,” says James.

“Prayer has always been something I did, but meditation is different and important as well.Before I prioritized silence, I realized that I had the tendency to burnout after big moments. Silence and meditation allows my mind to breath and prioritize peace.”

Tina Meeks, Mom Blogger & Creator of HerLifeSparkles.com

Tip #2: Learn How To Say No

“For a long time the word YES was a default setting for me,” says Tina Meeks, a motherhood blogger based in Texas. “My brain would just blurt out the word ‘yes ‘to requests from family and friends no matter how tired or overwhelmed I was feeling.”

“Then one day I found myself sitting in the floor of my closet having a panic attack, because I had said ‘yes’ to entirely too much in a short time frame and no one was around to help.”

I was driving myself nuts trying to honor all of those commitments and only one or two was actually important.”

As a mom of three, Meeks still manages to travel, slay her beauty routine, support her husband and keep up a regular spiritual practice.

“That experience taught me that everyone can’t have access to me all the time. There will always be other play dates, birthday parties, field trips, happy hours, office parties, sporting events, etc. Take back your time in 2019 and learn to say no.”

Kiki Ayers, Publicist (@kikiayers)

Tip #3: Find inner peace + Eat to stay fueled

Kiki Ayers didn’t stop working through her pregnancy. The highly sought-after public relations boss, still walked red carpets and kept her clients popping’ because she had a business to run. Most importantly she wanted to set an example for her newborn son of what strong work ethic looked like.

Now that he’s here, she’s getting her sleep in and being diligent about her diet.

“As a new mom to a beautiful baby boy, my top self care tips are to sleep when he’s sleeping,” says Ayers.

“It’s important for me to eat healthy not only to make sure my son gets all the nutrients he needs through breast milk but also for my health and increased energy.”

Ayers also hasn’t fallen into the trap of working without centering herself.

“My last self care tip is inner peace,” says Ayer. “I focus on that by reading, meditation and transforming energy.”

Dr. Wendy Osefo, Professor, Johns Hopkins University and Political Commentator

Tip #4: Don’t let social media pressure you

“We live in a social media generation where we consume so much information about who we are and what we as moms are suppose to be. DON’T LISTEN TO THEM!!” advises Dr. Wendy Osefo, an award-winning researcher, professor and political commentator.

The mom of two young boys has a strong presence on social media but doesn’t let it consume her life or her mindset.

“Make your own rules and set your own goals of what motherhood should be. Trying to live up to others false expectations of you is both mentally and physically daunting.”

“Women can have it all, but we have to be okay not having it all at the same time. One week you may be an amazing mom, another week you’re killing it in your career, and the next week your are wife of the year.”

Dr. Osefo says mothers deserve the space to prioritize different goals at different times in their life without judgment.

“It is okay to know that we as moms may not win in all categories at the same time!” says Dr. Osefo.

“Owning this level of personal accountability removes unnecessary stress from our lives and enhances our ability to not only focus on one area of our lives at a time, but also excel in said area.”

Briana D. Williams, Esq.

Tip #5: Continue to evolve personally + professionally.

Briana D. Williams made national news when she graduated from Harvard Law School. Williams gave birth to her daughter in her second year of law school, challenging norms and expectations around motherhood and career.

“Do not forget to do the things that are ‘the things,'” advises Williams. “It is important not to lose your identity. Remember, before you were a mother, you were you- and you still are. Is there a yoga class that you’ve been wanting to take? Prioritize it. Hire a sitter (or use the grandparent card) and find the time for your upkeep.”

Williams also founded her own admissions consulting company, advising others on how to reach their dreams too. Her advice to moms for self-care is all about investing in yourself.

“Continually evolve,” says Williams. “I think evolving as a person is the most important self-care tip because it involves self-growth, and remaining stagnant is one of the primary issues at the juncture of motherhood and our dreams.”

“I am constantly researching, reading, writing, networking, etc., because I always want to grow. I know that as long as I’m growing, there will never be a ceiling to what I can offer to my daughter.”

Dayna Thomas, Esq., Entrepreneurship and Entertainment Attorney (@daynathomaslaw)

Tip #6: Pray + Protect Your Social Time.

Dayna Thomas, Esq.’s motto is “believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” After launching her own entertainment law firm and doing countless deals, she knows the power of faith to make things happen while keeping her peace of mind.

“Pray,” says Thomas. “Not only to ask for what you need, but also to be thankful for what you have. Developing your spiritual relationship and shifting your mind to focus on what you are grateful for certainly helps to create peace.”

As a mom to a young son, Thomas is a true “mompreneur” who blocks out time for fun in her schedule.

“Add events to your calendar, whether big or small. It reminds you to allocate time for things other than work and mom duties, and it creates something new to look forward to!”

Brittany Noble, Freelance Journalist (@thenoblejournalist)

Tip #7: Pursue Your Dreams + Coparent

Brittany Noble doesn’t quit. The award-wining journalist who broke national news in the shooting of Mike Brown in St. Louis back in 2014 while working for KMOV, is reporting important stories, challenging television corporations to be inclusive and raising her son too.

“Just like the flight attendants warn us “in case of an emergency,” Mom, put your mask on first and then help your child,” says Noble.

“Our babies need a mentally and physically healthy mommy to pour into them. We cannot give our best to our kids if we are struggling just to get by. Find the time. Sneak a bath at night, hit a yoga pose before you wake them up.”

“My 2-year-old baby and I have praise and worship. I teach him one-word songs like “Hallelujah,” and when I am weak he sings along to remind me I am strong.”

Noble also says sharing the load through effective co-parenting is key.

“It takes two people to make a baby,” Noble tells theGrio. “Even though my baby’s father and I are now separated, we’ve learned the only way to give our child the best possible future is by working together. It can be tough but you have to work to get on the same page. Our kids need the best of both sides of the family to be their best selves..”

Know an inspiring millennial mom? Tag her in the comments below along with your own tips for self-care to share with other women.