Up until recently, Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, was considered the Beyoncé of the mega successful Game of Thrones franchise. So when the character’s story arc took a devastating turn, actress Emilia Clarke feared she’d be disappointing the real Bey.

In an interview released by The New Yorker after Sunday’s highly anticipated series finale, Clarke shared an anecdote about what happened after she was approached by Beyoncé at an Oscars after-party.

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According to Clarke, the singer raved to her about her love of Targaryen. Looking back on the encounter, she reflects, “I see this vision, this angel, this incredible woman float towards me, and Beyoncé says to me, ‘Oh, my goodness, it’s so wonderful to meet you. I think you’re brilliant.’ I just couldn’t handle it! I was on the verge of tears.”

“All I wanted to scream was ‘Please, please still like me even though my character turns into a mass-killing dictator! Please still think that I’m representing women in a really fabulous way,’” she continued.

“I was just, like, Oh, my God, my absolute idol in life is saying that she likes me,” she lamented. “And I know for a fact that by the end of this season she’s going to hate me.”

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(Editor’s Note: Spoilers ahead)

The HBO show is an international success with many fans convinced that the series would end with Daenerys Targaryen sitting on the Iron Throne. But in the final two episodes of the series, things take a shocking turn and her rage drives her to become a tyrant who kills thousands of innocent men, women, and children in King’s Landing. This ultimately led to her being stabbed through the heart by her lover (and nephew), Jon Snow, just feet away from the throne that she had fought so hard to win.

Now that the cat is out of the bag many are marveling at the burden that the actress must have had to bear, as she kept this disappointing plot twist a secret for more than a year after filming completed.

In the wake of the show’s finale, a red carpet interview of Clarke being asked whether or not she was happy with how things ended for her character, seems to hint at just how conflicted she felt. In the clip she says, “Best season ever!” with a level of sarcasm that now makes total sense.

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