Issa Rae opens up about life as a newlywed, possibly becoming a mother

The 'Insecure' showrunner recently got married but said she limits what she shares of her personal life

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Issa Rae is winning at life these days. She credits a lot of that to her ability to guard her privacy at all costs.

This month, as she prepares for the premiere of the fifth and final season of her HBO hit series Insecure, the 36-year-old opened up to Self Magazine about why she refused to fall into the trap of oversharing her business with the world.

“I think the little time I’ve been in the industry, I’ve witnessed how so many people who are front-facing don’t have a peace and aren’t at peace, and that’s always been troubling to me,” she explained.

“In this age of social media, where I was an avid user, I would share so much of myself, of my friend group, and it was fun because it felt like [it was] just among my friends,” Rae said. “The more I started to seep out, the more I felt like people took ownership of me and my decisions and things that I did. That’s just not something that sat right with me, and I found that I don’t like to be the subject of conversations that I don’t initiate. There’s just something uncomfortable about that.”

The Academy Museum Of Motion Pictures Opening Gala - Arrivals
Issa Rae attends The Academy Museum of Motion Pictures Opening Gal on Sept. 25, 2021 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amy Sussman/Getty Images)

The actress-writer-producer’s aversion to being the topic of discussion even extended to good news, as was evidenced by the surprise announcement that she and longtime boyfriend Louis Diame were secretly married in the South of France over the summer with only close friends and family present. 

“I still try to be private about my personal life, but that was something that I knew was going to be shared, and I just wanted to share it on my own terms,” she reflected, before conceding that fame has in some ways still managed to compromise her quality time with loved ones.

“It’s really disheartening to realize, ‘Oh, we have to really, really make an effort to see one another,’” she added. “I just reached out to my group chat of friends to be like, ‘Can we at least have a standing brunch or dinner once a month?’ and everybody was down, and then I was like, ‘Oh, s—, I’m going to be out of town. I’m going to be gone.’ That’s so f—- whack.”

Not surprisingly, the conversation then veered to motherhood.

“I like my life, I like this selfishness, and I know that I have a window,” she began. “I’ve always felt that way, that women, Black women especially—unless you’re Viola Davis or Angela Bassett—you have a window when people are going to want to continue to see you and see what you can do. Then there are so many limitations placed upon you, and that does keep me up. I want to do as much as I can while I still can. I know it’s not the proper mentality to think that kids will slow you down, but I do feel that way.”

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