A little unsolicited advice for Halle Bailey and DDG, who are clearly still trying to navigate co-parenting
OPINION: A little advice to the younger generation about navigating difficult but manageable spaces never hurt anybody. Signed, an uncle.
Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
I don’t keep up with the lives of any couples/non-couples I see on social media. If I don’t know you, why do I need to know how your relationship is going when I have my own to maintain? In that regard, I barely put my own relationship on social media save for the required anniversary and birthday posts, as well as cutesy memes where my wife and I tag one another to give interested parties a slight glimpse into our shenanigans.
Be that as it may, I am on social media and I do read gossip sites, so Halle Bailey and DDG (I still have no idea what that stands for) find their way into my consciousness every so often. Now part of that is that it seems like A LOT of people have A LOT of things to say about their relationship. Early on, I remember people questioning how Halle Bailey, a young woman clearly viewed in a very positive light, could find herself mixed up with and then pregnant by DDG, who is or was a rapper that folks didn’t view in the same light, for whatever reason.Â
Well, after two years of dating, Bailey and DDG split, but they do share a baby son named Halo. As young parents — Bailey is 24 and DDG is 27 — who are also famous-ish, and whose lives have caught the attention of social media audiences, I can imagine that navigating parenthood isn’t easy. While Bailey is more visible and more likely to find her business placed in the streets by outlets, DDG also finds himself in news stories without Bailey.
Now, from the outside looking in, it seems like Halo is part of their story both as a couple and individually. Again, I don’t pay a ton of attention to their lives, but I do know what the kid looks like, and much of that is because of social media. So I found it a bit interesting that, recently, Bailey was less than pleased that DDG took Halo on a live stream with famous streamer, Kai Cenat. During the live stream, Bailey took to X and posted a since-deleted message (she initially deleted all of her social media accounts but has since re-upped her X account) that highlighted a few things: 1) She didn’t approve of Halo being on a live stream; 2) She wasn’t notified and is upset that Halo might be seen by millions of people; and 3) She is his “mother and protector” and was saddened that she wasn’t notified, especially when she was out of town.Â
Bailey has since posted on her X account (kids and this impulsive behavior, I swear) that, essentially, she overreacted and just didn’t like finding out what her kid was up to with the rest of the world. Basically, DDG didn’t tell her before he showed up that he was going on Kai Cenat’s livestream, and she saw her kid when everybody watching did. I can imagine that being a little bit jarring, but well, it’s also part of the co-parent package, a hard lesson for some to learn.Â
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I’d like to offer a bit of unsolicited advice and some experience-based observations that I think many of us, famous or not, could learn from. Having kids with people and then splitting is never easy. It’s hard enough being on the same page as a couple; being on the same page when you’re not a couple takes A LOT of work. Positively co-parenting is even more work. Being famous can’t help that at all. But it’s important to have trust and understanding, above all else; if you don’t trust the other parent, then almost anything they do, even in the safest, most comfortable of circumstances, will ever feel comfortable.Â
To DDG, I’d tell him to give Bailey a heads-up if their son is about to be all over everybody’s videos. Maybe he doesn’t have to, but a heads-up to mom (or dad) about the super-public spaces your kids will be, especially when they’re so little, goes a long way in making the other parent feel comfortable as it allows them to share any feelings they may have, even if they cannot make any decisions. Sharing openly and listening to one another makes communication easier as the kids get bigger. Plus, in general, it’s a good way to open up communication; nobody would suggest that every single movement a child makes needs to be shared, but when you decide to share your kid with the world, a simple text can’t hurt. And that goes for both parents.Â
For Bailey, I’d suggest taking a breather before posting. Implying that DDG shared their kid with millions of people when she has three million MORE followers on IG (still deleted, for now) than he does is wild. Also, to imply that as the mother, she’s concerned about the son’s protection as if the father might not be is not something the entire internet needs to be privy to, especially when you can take a moment to breathe and realize that maybe it’s not that deep. I can appreciate her clearing up her issue publicly since she came for him publicly. I would like to assume they had a phone call that started tense but ended amicably. I hope they manage to parent from a good space together. Halo will benefit from two parents who love him and always have his best interest in mind; I have no reason to think that’s not the case.Â
Signed, Uncle Panama.
Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio and host of the award-winning podcast, “Dear Culture” on theGrio Black Podcast Network. He writes very Black things, drinks very brown liquors, and is pretty fly for a light guy. His biggest accomplishment to date coincides with his Blackest accomplishment to date in that he received a phone call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his pieces (biggest) but he didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said “Unknown” (Blackest).
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