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Friday, Andre “Christ Bearer” Johnson opened up about the circumstances surrounding his dramatic suicide attempt.

Last year, the formerly Wu-Tang-affiliated rapper cut off his own penis and jumped off a second-floor balcony. During a recent sit down with VladTV, he succinctly explained his state of mind.

“PCP and meth and molly and alcohol, and no sleep. That was the main thing: no sleep,” he confessed.

The combination of drugs, alcohol and a deep depression (triggered by having all three mothers of his children file restraining orders against him), proved to be too much. Yet the most notable part of his meltdown were the reports that he mutilated his own genitals.

“Did you cut your penis off?” VladTV asked him.

“You know, I did. I f—-d up, my n—a, in a lot of ways.”

At one point in the interview, the rapper claims he is proud of his actions.

I’m the only man ever did what the f–k I did, and I’m proud of it. Why? In the annals of history, I don’t think you got anybody who ever did it. That was a flooper, we all done woke up from a flooper. Maybe not a flooper as big as me.

How I jumped was just so heroic. I supermanned out that motherf—–r.

Even though he says producer RZA was at his apartment on the infamous night everything happened, after the incident, Wu Tang distanced themselves from Bearer.

Check out the full clip for yourself, above.

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