Do double standards exist for assertive black women?

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By Liane Membis
Clutch Magazine

Can a woman be a diva without being called the b-word?

Nicki Minaj claims she’s not a diva, but she won’t accept anything less than the best.

The New York rapper speaks about double standards in “My Time Now”, a mini-documentary about her rise to fame. In the clip below, she talked about being criticized after walking out of a lackluster photo shoot. She claims that she wanted to be treated with respect for the hard work that she puts in as a rapper and was not trying to be a diva.

“I spend everything I have, every fiber of my being, to give people quality,” Nicki explained. “Is that wrong? Wanting more for myself? Wanting people to treat me with respect? You know what? Next time, they know better.”

Minaj flipped the script and called out the criticism as a double standard.

“When I am assertive, I’m a b**ch. When a man is assertive, he’s a boss. No negative connotation behind ‘bossed up,’ but lots of negative connotation being a b**ch.”

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE:

Why is it that women who know what they want and are firm about their standards are automatically called the b-word? Why it that an assertive man is praise and respected for holding down his own, but a woman who demands quality over quantity is looked down upon and seen as ungrateful? Women have consistently developed and emerged in a society; it was not too long ago when women were fighting for their own civil rights, liberation from Lysol scented kitchens to large workspaces in city buildings. Subservient and subordinate attitudes of the past have been abandoned for independence and leadership.

For women of color, feminist or diva-like qualities have been criticized as overambitious, unrealistic desires: black women are too picky, too angry, too confident, too strong. This goes for any type of relationship—men, work, family, finances. Women of color with feminist spirits are leaders in these arenas, and traits of independence and control are detested and perceived as over empowering and b**chy.

The concept of control and power in working or personal relationships has long been attributed to men. They must lead the household, they must control financial situations — they have to be the boss in order to ascertain their masculinity. In conservative societies, this remains the norm. Yet, as liberalism spreads and the number of independent, strong women increase, the question of who can be assertive or not becomes a valid point for inquiry.

A line exists that demarcates between being a diva or a boss and being b**chy or overly assertive. There is no harm in a woman demanding respect — every individual, despite gender, desires appreciation and recognition for their work. This is what upholds morality in our society and protects the integrity of individual interactions between men and women.

National beliefs are based on equality, including gender equality, so women naturally have a right to experience the full measure of their assertiveness. But if a woman begins to ask for too much or over extend power to the point where people around her are negatively affected by her actions and she has become a self-fulfilling greedy tyrant, then it may be time to call the bitchiness police.

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