From a very young age, women are programmed to go on a quest to obtain the elusive gold ring. That wedding ring is supposed to prove to the world that there is a man who approves of and has elected to share his life, love and wealth with us.
Many movies, love songs and romance novels end with a woman being swept off her feet by “Mr. Right.” Despite being bombarded with such imagery, there are some women who reject the notion that they need to be rescued by a man. Instead, they are choosing to remain happily single.
Mr. Right simply hasn’t come along for some women. For many others, however, the reality that there is a marriage crisis in this country has forced them to re-evaluate their lives and carve out a new path to happiness.
US Census data shows that 53.4 percent of women – defined as those aged over 18 – are unmarried. For women over 30 years of age, that rate jumps to more than 60 percent, which means that many women have not, and may not ever, find someone to marry. A staggering 70 percent of black women live alone, leading many African-American women to embrace fulfilling solo lives in lieu of marriage. Add the growing economic and educational gap between black men and women and it becomes clear that if an African-American woman is seeking her equal, she may not even be able to find him in her own race.
WATCH WOMEN DISCUSS LIVING THE SINGLE LIFE
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What is a sister to do? Many are not getting down on themselves. Instead, they are defying expectations and finding innovative ways to have the families and futures that they have always wanted. They are doing it by taking matters into their own hands and taking bold steps to become breadwinners, homeowners and both mother and father to children. In 2008, 24 percent of first time homebuyers were women while single women of color bought more homes than even married minorities. These women are rising above the view that they are somehow missing out by not having a ring on their finger and are, instead, filing their lives with the love of friends, families and friends.
Being on their own and becoming their own “princess charming” is a path that many black women are embracing not just because there is a marriage crisis but because they’ve learned that they are very capable of writing their own happy ending.