The Pew Research study’s finding that a record 40 percent of all households with children include “breadwinner moms” — who are either the sole or primary source of income for the family — hit the nation like of a ton of bricks, crashing down on the Leave It to Beaver and Father Knows Best image of the American nuclear family.
For better or worse, African-Americans appear to be at the forefront of most of the social shifts that are fueling the rise of breadwinner moms. These trends include single motherhood, rates of divorce, women’s educational and career ascendancy and men’s increasing unemployment and underemployment.
According to the Pew study, 63 percent of the breadwinner moms are single mothers; additionally, African-American mothers are disproportionately single. Black mothers make up 12.4 percent of all mothers, but comprise 27.5 percent of all single mothers, 40.1 percent of never-married mothers and 17.1 percent of divorced, separated or widowed mothers.
Black women: More likely to out-earn than be out-earned
Among the married mothers, the study showed that married black mothers are more likely to be primary breadwinner moms than to be mothers whose husbands have the higher income. Of the married women who out-earn their husbands, ten percent are black. Comparatively, only 6 percent of the couples in which the husband is the primary breadwinner include married black women.
This is not surprising given the fact that, according to National Center for Education Statistics, the largest gender difference in college enrollments was among black students as black females accounted for 64 percent of the total black undergraduate enrollment. Further, as of May 2013, 11.2 percent of black women over the age of 20 were unemployed compared to 13.5 percent of black men in that same age demographic, a percentage point difference that was almost four times that of whites.
Is the end of marriage coming?
So what do these statistics with respect to the rising economic power of women and dwindling economic power of men mean for society?
Stanford Law School Professor Ralph Richard Banks has asserted that these trends may signal the end of marriage as the bedrock social institution in the U.S. African-Americans, who have experienced the greatest gender status shifts, are the canary in the coal mine heralding, not just the reevaluation and re-configuration of marriage, but the slow withering away of the once-universal institution.
While many media outlets have portrayed these shifts in the meaning and stability of marriage in a negative way, it might be the case that African-Americans’ familiarity with fiscal crisis and blended families makes this group better equipped to create enduring marriages despite these social evolutions.
African-American women cope well with “mancession”
Lisa Brateman, a psychotherapist and relationship specialist in New York City, told theGrio that among her clients of all races, African-American wives seemed the most resilient in dealing with the “mancession” and new era of the breadwinner mom.
“In general, African-American women were less likely to experience paralyzing devastation after their spouses experienced job loss,” she said. “They just swung into action because they just seemed accustomed to doing everything and anything to make life work. In some ways, they seemed to not have the expectation that a man would financially support them all the time, so although they were just as vulnerable and saddened as other wives, they were also more resilient.”
Brateman also saw great resilience among African-American husbands, especially those with blue collar jobs.
“African-American men in blue collar jobs also seemed very adaptable and began contributing more in terms of household labor,” she continued. “They did not seem to experience the same hit to their self-esteem as their African-American and non-African-American white collar counterparts. They were very often eternally grateful to have wives who were still working and in some cases, they saw their job loss as an opportunity to explore new and more enjoyable careers.”
Genola and Robert Johnson: A living example
Many of Brateman’s observations ring true in the case of Genola and Robert Johnson, an African-Americans married couple of eighteen years that resides in Atlanta. The Johnsons experienced an economic role reversal when, not long after the wife in the couple received her PhD and became a more highly-paid school administrator, Mr. Johnson lost his job as a school principal and experienced a drop in salary due to school system furloughs. “Our family income suddenly went down by more than $30,000 and I just immediately went into survival mode. I called our creditors to negotiate more manageable terms. I just got to work,” Mrs. Johnson said.
When asked how their marital relationship changed as a result of the shift, Mrs. Johnson responded: “Even if the shift bothered my husband, he did not show it. His behavior towards me and our two girls remained the same. Before his drop in income we had made all financial decisions together, and when I made more money, we continued to make decisions together. And I certainly did not think any less of him. I just felt that we were in this together. I love him as a person and not a paycheck.”
Mr. Johnson echoed his wife’s team spirit stating, “Marriage is a team effort which requires each spouse’s 100 percent effort. If each spouse tries to give 50 percent, you will get a half result. I’m trying to do my best for the marriage in any way that I can, and that includes supporting the family financially and emotionally, as well as doing household chores.”
A man speaks on his changing role
When asked how he felt about his wife earning more, Mr. Johnson said, “It was not a big concern because it is all household income. I took it as a blessing that we had money.”
While both Mr. and Mrs. Johnson lament the African-American education gender gap and hope that African-American boys and men will step-up with respect to education and earnings, they do not believe that a man having a higher education or higher salary than his female partner is a prerequisite for a happy relationship. Together, their devotion despite recent obstacles has debunked the notion that a man’s sense of manhood is inextricably linked to his job title and pay check, an assumption that precipitates the idea that a once a woman makes more than a man, the couple is doomed.
Where does Mr. Johnson get his masculine sense of self-worth? “I derive it from my walk with my Savior,” he told theGrio. “In that walk, I’m trying to be a better and more loving husband, father and human being.”
A marriage that became more equitable, enjoyable
The financial support that Mr. Johnson had through his wife allowed him to eventually fulfill his dream of entrepreneurship. Now he has his own lawn care services company. The couple also started Georgia Education Learning Consultants Inc. together. Plus, Ms. Johnson started an educational blog called Instrucology.
African-American couples like Mr. and Mrs. Johnson may teach fellow African-Americans and all Americans certain invaluable lessons in the wake of the mancession and the proliferation of breadwinner moms.
First, they teach us that women are wise to “lean in” to educations and careers because a male partner’s income is not necessarily a woman’s birthright, nor a consistent source of security. Secondly, they show us that a man’s value can’t be reduced to his job title or paycheck. When couples realize that men can support their families in a myriad of ways, including through emotional companionship and household labor, they are better off. Lastly, the Johnsons demonstrate that when marriage is viewed as a team effort, it’s easier for both spouses to realize their dreams.
With these lessons, the era of breadwinner moms might not portend the end of marriage. By adopting more flexible gender roles, couples may be able to create more fulfilling, equal and prosperous marital relationships.
This story has been updated to reflect the reason for Mr. Johnson’s initial job loss.
Ama Yawson is a co-founder of Loveessence.com, a dating site for black women and men of all races. Ms. Yawson has earned a BA from Harvard University, an MBA from the Wharton School and a JD from the University of Pennsylvania Law School. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two sons.