To millions, Anthony Hamilton is best known as an award-winning singer with a soulful voice and arresting vocals – but to his six children, he is simply “dad.”
The Grammy-winning performer, who has released five studio albums, is the father of six boys. Yet, despite his busy schedule – which currently includes work on a Christmas album and collaboration with Drake on an upcoming song – Hamilton puts his family on the forefront.
As the patriarchal leader of a clan of young boys who range in age from 1 to 24, Hamilton only hopes to continue to provide the proper support and guidance to rear his six sons into strong and respectable men.
“I’ve seen it all,” Hamilton tells theGrio in a phone interview. “I’ve experienced every level of fatherhood you can imagine. And along the way, I’ve instilled the right type of fear and morals, it’s been beautiful.”
The lessons, importance of being a father
For Hamilton, fatherhood has been a blessing – a journey that he says has taught him how to be a better man, father and husband.
“I’ve learned to have a lot of patience, I’ve also learned where I lack as a man and a father and where I’ve matured with each child,” he says. “I’ve seen my growth. Understanding myself and them is the most beautiful thing.”
Hamilton says that fatherhood has exposed him to many lessons that have helped to make him the man he is today– a dad who understands the importance of the influence he has on his children and how that will help shape the men they will one day become.
“The best part of fatherhood is seeing someone who resembles you and watching them sleep and be with you for however long God allows and we’re connected the whole time. It’s so beautiful to see, just watching them grow,” he says.
Aside from the experiences fatherhood has exposed him to, Hamilton says he hopes his children also pick up a few key lessons along the way.
“I hope that they learn that anything is possible and that they have faith in God and themselves and that that alone can help them exceed any expectations,” he says. “I hope that they learn that love is always available and that they should always seek it. I hope they learn balance in working extremely hard and learning how to take time out to enjoy it.”
From fatherless to fatherhood
Growing up in Charlotte, NC, Hamilton discovered his talent at a young age and began singing in his church choir at 10 years old.
He built a strong connection with music and religion during this time – but admits that his bond with his biological father was not as strong.
“Most of his attention went elsewhere instead of focusing on me like I really wanted to,” he says. “For close to 12 years I didn’t even call him. I ended up getting adopted at 15, into a family with a mother and father who were really loving and nurturing and from there I was able to heal a lot and have that father figure show me and guide me.”
After not being present for much of his childhood, Hamilton says his adoptive parents more than filled the void of his biological father’s absence.
More than a decade passed since Hamilton communicated with his dad – and while his mother encouraged him to reach out, he says he never felt the need to do so.
It wasn’t until he met and married his wife in 2005 that Hamilton was finally convinced to reconnect with his father.
“My wife wanted to meet my biological father,” he says. “She wanted to identify where I came from, so I called him.”
Reuniting, rekindling and reconnecting
Hamilton describes that moment as one he will never forget – he says that it was a key moment in his life that allowed him to “feel free.”
“I felt like a kid, I was shocked. He created me and I hadn’t seen him in a long time. I wanted that relationship the whole time and I told him I loved him,” Hamilton says. “I told him I was getting married and he said he’ll be there and he came.”
Now, the two men have formed a strong friendship and Hamilton says they talk often. Many of their conversations revolve around sharing “real stuff” he says – including discussions on health, sports and some of the other interests they share.
Hamilton isn’t the only one who is gratified by re-establishing this relationship. He explains that his children are also pleased that they can now get to know their grandfather.
“They like the fact that my biological father is there and that they have access to him,” he says. “They get to see where their dad comes from, it deepens the bond between us all, God created the mold for who we are as men it’s an honor to have them all here.”
Marriage: It takes two
Hamilton credits his wife, Tarsha McMillian, in providing the support and encouragement to reach out to his father.
Among other things, he also acknowledges her for being an amazing mother to their two-year-old twins, Nolan and Aaron.
The couple has been married for 8 years and welcomed their “Hamiltwins” in November of 2010 along with another baby boy, Princeton, 11 months ago. Hamilton’s three other children, Anthony, Romero, and Tristen are from previous relationships.
McMillian, who is also a talented singer, met Hamilton at an audition to be one of his background singers.
Over the years, Hamilton’s love and respect for McMillian has only grown and he says that their adoration for each other has transformed into a relationship built on a foundation of faith.
“[It’s about] having a connection with God and understanding what this person means to you and keeps you in the fight,” he says. “It’s not easy and it’s been challenging, not only for me but for her. We have to reassure each other and I have to stay on my toes and stay prayed up or I fall prey to. I have to really stay with my fist in God’s hand. It’s not an easy [thing]. It’s real.”
A nod of approval
Despite any challenges, Hamilton admires many qualities in McMillian that he says help to make him a better person – which makes their story a great addition to a new anthology by Gil Robertson, titled Where Did Our Love Go: Love and Relationships in the African American Community.
In discussing the importance of understanding his spouse, Hamilton acknowledges many of her personal attributes – and the qualities he believes she admires in him – that makes their marriage the strong pillar in their family.
“I admire her willingness to fight for me, she’s very forgiving, she’s about family, she’s loyal, she’s incredible,” he says. “She admires my willingness to be an individual my fight to keep my identity and not apologize for it. The way I love, my heart, the way I love people and my kids.”
Hamilton says becoming a husband was a key moment in his life – a moment that he wanted to share with his children to teach them some of the the power and responsibilities of manhood.
In the end, he just hopes he passes the test of fatherhood with approval.
“When I became a husband I feel like that was something necessary for them to see. I felt like I showed them how to be a man,” he says. “Hopefully, at the end of it all of they’ll say you did good, dad. You did alright.”
For this Father’s Day, Hamilton wrote a touching and honest note specifically addressed to his sons, exclusively for theGrio:
Hello big guys. It’s your father here. I just wanted you all to know how much it means having you all in my life. 6 boys! Wow!!! I’ve learned so much through each and every one of you and it’s such a beautiful lesson. You all have taught me to be patient, which with age is a constant struggle when you all move around so much. Makes me a beautiful grump. I thank God for allowing me to be the type of father that you guys need. One who is open with all your truths. Not judging you, but accepting you all in your purest moments…self. One of the highlights of my life is being your dad. Even if I fail sometimes, I promise to correct it as soon as it’s recognized. I can’t begin to express how much you all mean to me. But just know without each and every one of you, I’d be missing out on everything that’s beautiful, amazing and capable. In the meantime, I’ll be loving you all from the sideline as I watch the most beautiful movie ever made: My Fatherhood. I Love you all, Dad.
Follow Lilly Workneh @Lilly_Works