Women are used to being objectified when it comes to sex in film, on television, and even in our everyday lives, but what if the woman is the subject rather than the object? In control of the action rather than controlled by it? Such is the scenario in a new documentary called Subjectified. In this film, nine young women share their stories, helming their sexual narratives and framing them as they see fit.
The women, ranging in age from 19 to 28 are black, white, Latina, virgins, sexual abuse victims, lesbians, or bearers of community-given titles such as “slut” or “prude,” but what all of the women have in common is the willingness to share some of the most intimate portions of their sexual lives.
In an exclusive interview with theGrio, the film’s creator, Melissa Tapper Goldman said she purposely set out to get a diverse array of women for the project. “My top priority was that I wanted to take some of the tropes of women and sexuality and break them down and humanize them,” said Goldman.
Women exploring their sexuality openly
Subjectified is a feminist, sex positive film, but as many women of color have come to realize over the years, the feminist movement is not always inclusive of our voices. The intersectionality of race, class, gender and other important factors can often be left out in favor of a singular white, female, heterosexual feminist perspective.
“Women’s voices are silenced. Women of color are even more silenced and marginalized. Baked into the project’s DNA is [the goal] to give a platform to voices that are not usually heard,” said Goldman, who is Jewish and noted that she is always looking for ways to be a better ally to the marginalized.
At a recent event in New York City, feminist scholar bell hooks talked about the role of allies specifically as it relates to men in feminism. “I often question the use of the word ally. I think that sometimes it’s standing on their own beliefs, which are anti-patriarchal or anti-sexist. They are not required to be anybody’s ally. They are on their frontline in the same way that I’m on my frontline,” said hooks.
Though hooks was talking about male allies in feminism, the same could be said of white women and women of color. To her credit, Goldman is very candid about her ability to tell certain stories. “I went into all of the interviews with a real humility about my capacity to reach people and understand where they were coming from. I tried to let the interviewees take control of the conversation and let their stories be their own, but at the same time I do have to work on how I recognize my own privilege,” said Goldman.
Race, sexuality and stereotypes
Due to that approach the film does not explicitly delve into race, although race is brought up a couple times by the interviewees as they tell their stories. One black woman talks about becoming a teenage mother and loathing the fact that people would look at her as just another black, unwed girl having a baby too young.
When asked what was the most important lesson she learned from filming, Goldman said probably the biggest takeaway was how strong women are. To be sure, the film does reflect that; however, her answer is telling in the context of privilege.
“Strong” is an adjective attributed to black women to a fault. The strong, abrasive, ball-busting, “I don’t need a man” black woman is a common stereotype in American culture. Yes, women are strong (giving birth isn’t a walk in the park), and of course black women in particular are strong as well, but do we need a documentary to affirm that?
However, the “women are strong” affirmation is simply what Goldman got from this project. And every person will have her own takeaway from the film. As a black, divorced, heterosexual, childless woman who (thankfully) has never been sexually abused, and whose views on sex have not been influenced by religion, my biggest takeaway was about recognizing my own privileges and perspectives.
As humans, we often take for granted our perspectives and cultural knowledge, and the complex and very unique ways that we have cobbled together our views.
Do Tell Tumblr takes message further
To take the sentiment of Subjectified one step further, Tapper Goldman has created the Do Tell Tumblr, which encourages women to anonymously tell their sexual histories. This gives a wider range of women the opportunity to share and read stories that are often left untold.
A recent New York Magazine article stated that one in three women in the United States has an abortion by age 45. That is probably a shocking statistic for most people because we do not share these aspects of our lives. It is still taboo in many parts of American society for women to speak frankly about sexual behaviors and reproductive decisions.
This is especially true for black women and that whole awful notion of “respectability politics.” Black women are sometimes tasked with taking on almost puritanical behaviors and appearances in order to fend off the infamous Jezebel and Sapphire stereotypes.
Black women: Can we share our sexual histories?
Goldman has specifically reached out to media outlets whose target demographic includes women of color because she knows wants the Do Tell campaign (which runs the entire month of November) to reflect the diversity and similarities in our experiences as women.
“The messages we get in pop culture seep into how we approach people. It has an impact. People have internalized misogyny. When you give women space to tell stories in a more nuanced way, you find out they they are fighting hard and doing what’s right for them. We have a lot of fighters on our team,” said Goldman.
Visit the official Subjectified website to watch the trailer for the film, get information on screenings, and learn how to purchase it. Click here to read or submit to the Do Tell Tumblr.
Both the film and the social media project are well worth the time to consume and participate in. They are a welcome respite from the mainstream depictions of women’s sexuality, and an opportunity for black women to cast off related limitations based on stereotypes.
Follow Demetria Irwin on Twitter at @Love_Is_Dope and connect with her on Facebook.