The Kanye n-word incident: Should we always turn the other cheek in the face of racial slurs?

OPINION - It’s a beautiful thing to have people who love you and who would fight for you, but don’t abuse that privilege...

Luther Vandross was outed as gay after his death.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Blah, blah, blah.

Sometimes things gets real when you’re selling wolf tickets and somebody just might call your bluff.

Such is the case when a teenager allegedly harassed Kim Kardashian by hurling racial epitaphs. Kim called her fiancé, Kanye West. West allegedly put hands on the young man in defense of the mother of his child.

According to TMZ, the guy called Kardashian a ni**er lover, among other things, as she was visiting a chiropractor’s office.  Kanye, of course, did not take kindly to that outburst and allegedly pummeled the dude.

TMZ also reports that Kim claims the young man in question threatened to kill her. That definitely ups the ante in terms of the guy’s possible crimes and Ye’s legal defense if it gets to that point.

To fight or not to fight–that is the question. Most people could probably feel sympathy with a man who defends his woman against an aggressive, racist rant-spewing man.

Kanye is a different story though. He has been on a real tear for the past month or so with ridiculous interviews and he’s currently facing battery charges for allegedly striking a photographer.

So, if you are the woman in question, do you call your man in this situation? Hmmmm. Let me give you a little bit of my own experience with this type of conundrum. I am a black woman and at one time, I was married to a white Jewish man. We used to get heckled on the street by people in Harlem (our home).  The guys would always, always direct their comments to me. Honey walked on the curbside, like a gentleman should, so the street harassers were always closest to my ear and they would practically whisper their insults. (Cowards.) It was very much directed towards me as a “derelict, self-hating” black woman.

So, sometimes hubby did not even hear their taunts. In those instances, I waited until we were in some other space to tell him about what was said. We had agreed as a couple to always ignore the ridiculous goons on the street who said awful things. It was obviously not worth it to risk life, limb, freedom or law license (for hubby) to school some random dude on the street about love.  However, sometimes hubby did hear the taunts and his testosterone took over and I had to physically stand between the testosterone vs testosterone and keep the party moving.

These are things you must think about as a woman before you make “that call.” If I feel like I’m in imminent danger and I’m alone, my short term solution is going to be to the security guards or people nearby or minus that, 911. My “call” would wait. No need for my honey or my homeboys to potentially face jail time for someone who might have nothing to lose.

It’s a beautiful thing to have people who love you and who would fight for you, but don’t abuse that privilege.

Follow Demetria Irwin on Twitter at @Love_Is_Dope and connect with her on Facebook.

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