Meagan Good says she dismissed friends’ concerns about her new relationship. Should you?
Meagan Good said “all” of her friends advised her on her relationship with Jonathan Majors, but she's "rebellious."
Haters be damned, Meagan Good is doubling down on dating Jonathan Majors despite any naysayers — both publicly and potentially amongst her friends.
During the press run for her new film, Tyler Perry’s “Divorce in the Black,” which chronicles a messy and dangerous divorce as Good’s character attempts to flee an abusive relationship, she has been opening up about her IRL relationship, and, in particular, who has weighed in on it.
Good told the hosts of the “Today” show, “All of my friends advised me [on the relationship],” further explaining to People magazine that, amid his legal drama stemming from a recent domestic violence conviction, Majors himself even discouraged her. (Arguably raising his own red flag…) However, Good also told People she’s “rebellious” when she believes in someone. While apart from Majors, we don’t know who advised what specifically, it’s reasonable to assume at least one other person might have advised against pursuing such a controversial union.
Personally, I like to imagine her castmates from “Harlem” firing up the group chat and deliberating what to do after those first paparazzi shots of her leaving that restaurant with him surfaced. Of course, I’m also imagining that this group chat even exists.
We could also imagine some of the complaints Good may have had to field. Majors’ fashion sense is notoriously a little…dated, his dancing is certainly unique, and his prior commentary on Black women is misguided, at best — just to name a few.
Despite all of this, Good is remaining 10 toes down, as the kids would say. That is her man, and she’s sticking beside him — and as a grown woman with agency, that’s well within her right. However, Good’s disclosure and her dismissal of the naysayers in her life do raise the question: When should we heed the advice of others versus our own intuition?
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It’s extremely common for friends and family to give their opinions of our partners. In fact, it is often viewed as a necessary step or rite of passage in most relationships, hence why almost all reality dating shows have an episode where potential couples go home to meet their friends and family.
There’s also credence to the practice; studies show that our friends’ approval or disapproval can impact the success rate of our relationships. Additional studies have also shown that sharing friend groups with your partner helps deepen your connection and overall feelings of satisfaction.
Friendships are important because they often reflect different aspects of who we are. Friends are integral parts of our lives, operating for many as a second family. A partner who doesn’t fit naturally within that “framily” may genuinely not be the right partner for you.
Sure, you could spend your entire relationship in total privacy and seclusion. But do you really want to? Can you honestly say you’d never want to take your bae to the cookout?
However, to Good’s point, some studies show that, overwhelmingly, those who lack self-esteem are more likely to give in to the whims of their peers. So there’s also that.
When friends imply or outright state they don’t like your partner — or, more to the point, have concerns about you dating them, relationship and dating experts say to consider the source. Is their critique behavior-related or personality-related?
Naturally, friends want the best for us and often come from a protective place. Ideally, friends also love us, which tends to make them very biased when it comes to our partners. (From my perspective, no one is really quite good enough for my friends, ya dig?) However, friends who voice a specific reason or even recognition of an alarming trend should be worthy of some sincere consideration.
In short, if no one else you’ve routinely introduced this person to seems to like them, you may want to reevaluate some things.
Lastly, and most importantly, you have to consider how you feel. How does this person make you feel? Are they causing harm to you or others? What’s your life together like? Do you like it? Can you envision a future full of positive growth and mutual support?
Appearing on “Club Shay Shay,” Good told host Shannon Sharpe that “Divorce in the Black” is the first time she’s ever been paid what she felt she was worth — an accomplishment she credited to Majors’ encouragement to ask for what she deserved. In addition, she’s currently starring in a hit rom-com series on Amazon. She’s glowing on the red carpet, showing off a chiseled set of abs and billowing faux locs. Whatever one may think of Good’s romantic choices, my point is she appears to be thriving.
If and when a friend is not thriving, you’d be a bad friend not to say something, especially if their partner is riddled with red flags.
Ultimately, though — as Good said, and as all real good friends know — a person has to be able to make decisions for themselves, especially in matters of the heart.
“At the end of the day, one thing I know is that I can always look myself in the mirror when I trust my spirit — when I trust God, when I ask God, when I move to the beat of my own drum — I can always look and say, ‘I’m proud of that.’ Whatever happens, I have peace in my heart and I have harmony in my heart,” Good said on “Today.”
And if the image in the mirror ever changes, good friends will be there no matter what.
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