10 expert dating tips to heat up the chance of summer romance

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and according to Boodram, if it’s “inconsistent or evasive,” it should be viewed as a red flag.

Speaking with theGrio, The “Too Hot To Handle” expert cautions against an individual’s “reluctance to meet in person after a reasonable amount of time, and overly forward or inappropriate messages,” adding, “Another red flag can be profiles that lack depth or seem too good to be true.”

Rocker said, “Red flags are always there in the beginning; the problem is people tend to overlook them. I would say never to overlook them, but just keep them in front of your mind when things [progress] so you can see if this is just a mistake or a one-time thing. But never negate the red flags.”

“Additionally, always trust your gut — if something feels off, it’s okay to step back and reevaluate the situation,” said Boodram. “Protecting your emotional well-being is paramount in the online dating world.”

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“While I’d love to say that [intimacy on the first date] is a completely outdated concept, a quick scan of some relationship podcasts will tell you that, for some people, this is still a topic of contention,” Boodram shared. She would know; in addition to the controversy stirred by  Bumble’s recent stance on celibacy, “Too Hot To Handle” is a reality television series that employs a ruse, leading participants to believe their sole purpose is engaging in sexual activities when in reality, the show aims to educate individuals on fostering meaningful connections.

Among other qualities and potential red flags, Boodram wants prospective daters to check for the “intent” of the person with whom they are contemplating intimacy. “If one is seeking to deepen the connection and the other is just very horny and looking to alleviate sexual tension, then intents are deeply misaligned,” she told theGrio.

Dr. Rocker advised that saying yes to sex too soon could “paint the wrong type of picture for [a certain type of] person.”

When asked what other questionable behaviors people who date men should look out for on dating apps, he responded: “When he [doesn’t have] a job, he has you paying for everything, and if he lives with his moms. These are all…traits and attributes of an F-Boy right there.” 

An “F-Boy” (or f***boy) can be described as someone whose sole purpose is to use an individual for sex and whatever else he can get from someone without truly contributing and committing to the relationship romantically.

Rocker added, “Sometimes, once again, those are things that people overlook. ‘No car? OK, I’ll pick them up. Live with his mom? Don’t worry; he might get a house one day. Making me pay for everything? Oh, one day, he’ll start paying for me.'”

He said if you see these signs in the beginning, “you may want to run.” However, because downturns inevitably happen in life, “as a true partner, you can work it out” if they happen after an otherwise viable relationship has started.  

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According to Rocker, like social media, dating apps can amplify loneliness.

“Don’t get caught up with what people are saying or what they’re doing because, at the end of the day, there may be people who get more likes and people who get more swipes,” he told theGrio, adding, “But it really doesn’t matter because, at the end of the day, you’re looking for that one person to be your forever and forever, whoever that may be, and it takes a while.”

Boodram agreed, noting, “Another key piece is making sure you’re emphasizing quality over quantity with your matches — utilizing features like “Interest Badges” and “Profile Prompts” can also help ensure that you are connecting with people [who are] most compatible to you and, therefore, the most likely to lead to genuine connection,” she added, referencing Bumble’s app features.

According to the Pew Research Center, 54% of women using online dating reported feeling overwhelmed by messages in 2023. Conversely, 64% of men admitted feeling insecure when they didn’t receive enough messages.

When asked what someone who feels insecure isn’t getting the desired attention on an app should do, Rocker responded: “Sometimes, when those situations happen, it’s good to do a lot of self-reflection. [Ask yourself:] ‘What am I doing that’s not getting a lot of responses from other people?’ Because it could be that you’re not posting a lot of pictures — or you could be the person who has one picture on your profile, or a person who doesn’t share about their personality or their interests.”

“It’s about building a rapport with people that you don’t know based on what they see on your profile, so to do that, you got to show a lot more about your life — one picture and an interest here and there is not going to do it … more people who show more about their life get more responses than those who show less about their life and who they are [getting] responses,” he added.

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For ten years, Bumble’s app required women to make the first move to empower women, but recently, it changed its business model. In April 2024, Bumble introduced a new feature called “Opening Moves,” which allows men to respond to a prompt to start a conversation.

Though this feature exists on the app, Rocker said it’s still okay for women to make the first move.

“So a lot of times, the guy takes initiative to set a date, but for women, I would say, don’t be afraid to set a date if you’re eager to get the ball moving to get in-person. Don’t be afraid to say, ‘We should do X, Y and Z because sometimes, if we allow men to set these dates, you could be waiting forever.”

Rocker also advises men and women to speak up for what they want while dating.

Boodram noted that “Dating multiple people can be healthy and beneficial. It allows you to explore different connections and better understand what you want in a relationship.” However, she added it might not be as easy as you think, explaining: “We are born to bond, and once our brain has chosen someone to pair bond with, it can be difficult to remain logical and loose within the dynamic.”

According to the National Institute of Health, pair bonds refer to two individuals of the same species forming a special connection.

Boodram added: “However, it’s essential to manage your time and emotional energy effectively to ensure you’re giving each person a fair chance and, more importantly, clear expectations.”

According to Dr. Rocker, he isn’t against a roster. However, he says managing a roster can be time-consuming: “It takes a lot of work to talk to multiple people at a time: multiple ‘good mornings,’ multiple ‘good nights,’ multiple conversations throughout the day. I don’t know who has that much time in the day; I know, I don’t,” he said.

“Break it up, or spread it out…so you can give them undivided attention and so they can also give you undivided attention too,” he advised.

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When asked what a good person looks like, Rocker responded, “From a mental health perspective, that’s subjective. That’s what we all would say. There’s no ‘good boy’ in our books, but I will say it’s someone who understands who they are, who’s established, who has achieved their individual goals, and now is ready to add another component, which is someone else, into their goals as well.”

“That’s somebody who’s in a healthy mindset and will be a healthy partner to be with, too — once again, you [have] to be individually satisfied. People who are individually not satisfied and then go into a relationship, it takes a toll on the relationship. Now, it becomes problematic, and it causes additional issues. It never works,” he added.

Dr. Rocker noted that people sometimes start by saying they are on apps for fun, but if they meet the right person, that could quickly change to long-term.

“It’s all about who you meet, what your intentions are, and how they affect you mentally, because sometimes people can change your mind, your emotions about the whole dating scene altogether,” he explained. “But you have to meet the right person; the right person will change everything for you, that’s what I’ve learned about this field. The wrong person, it just really doesn’t matter; but the right person, you will do anything to be with that person.”

However, Rocker cautions against staying past two dates if a person’s goals or vision aren’t aligned with yours.

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Meeting someone on an app isn’t the only or even most tried-and-true way to connect with someone romantically. Meeting in person can get you closer to finding “the one.”

“You don’t want to be [at] home throughout the summer; you want to be outside,” Rocker told theGrio. He advised prospective daters to “Be outside in smart places like networking events and going to the gym,” adding: “Of course, health is wealth. So people who share similar interests, that’s always a good way to meet new people. Lounges versus clubs because in clubs, you can’t hear [anything], right?”

He noted solo travel is also a good way to meet people: “I always say you could travel by yourself but not end by yourself. Because when you go by yourself, it forces you to meet new people, [but] when you go with a group of people, all you do is stay within the confines of the group.”

Summer is a season of warmth and the possibility of new love. By keeping these tips in mind, you can create healthy and fun dating experiences.